Thor and Aurie at Phat Cats

Thor and Aurie_002, originally uploaded by Tsai Jie.

I know. You are used to seeing me dancing here with Thorgal while he is Djing. I do love to hang with him in Phat Cats. I get to hear new music from everywhere, we talk about our respective loves, about life, the universe, and everything. Always a relaxing thing on a Sunday afternoon. Yesterday when I showed up for his DJ session I thought it would be like any other Sunday, but no.

There she was on the dance floor the lovely Aurelia Lionheart. I don't usually see Aurie here. She is the proprietor of The Noob. (Come by on Tuesdays and Thursdays for Karaoke and hear Thor sing! Yes, a man of many talents.)

Now I could never even attempt to cut in on Thor dancing with Aurielia, first because she is a friend, but also because she is his SL partner and one true love. I couldn't help, however, but admire them both for being beautiful, young, and for being in love. So I took this picture.

Meanwhile, though I did listen to Thor's (always excellent) music choices, I was stuck across the room in chat lag hell with Molly Lempton, a couple other friends, and an Elvis lookalike who didn't speak much English. I still had a good time. Made a new friend. Got nostalgic whenThor played me a Sting song that is an old favorite.

Thorgal & Aurielia, I count myself lucky to have you both as friends.

Friending & Unfriending: What Does "Friendship" Mean?

Sometimes I don't think the word "friend" means what it used to mean anymore.

When I was twelve one of my teachers explained it like this: You have three circles around you: first friends, fence friends, and fringe friends.

Your first friends are the first people you turn to. These are people you can count on the fingers of one hand. Your lives are intertwined. They are your sidekicks, you are theirs. They are your confidantes. You can tell them your deepest darkest secrets and they still love you. They are the ones you turn to when you hurt. You are there for them when they hurt. They are tied up in all your best memories and even if life takes you in different places, whenever you come back together it is like you were never apart. They are closer than family. When you are apart you miss them. They are your best friends, sometimes better than family. You love them.

Your fence friends surround you. You meet them at school, at work; they move in all the same circles you do.  You have a dozen or more of these friends. Life throws you together and you find you have stuff in common. You invite them to big parties and your family events like graduations and weddings. They have been to your house and you have been to theirs. You see them now and again and have lots of fun with them, but they have their own lives as you have yours. When they go their own ways you don't miss them, though you do occasionally wonder about them. They are just friends. You like them.

Your fringe friends are on the outside edges of your life. The people you say hello to at the library, chat up at the supermarket. The guy who fixes your car. The mailman. The neighbor across the street. The teachers at your school. You see them at the book club or the history society or at the coffee shop you frequent.  They may know you by name, but you probably would not tell each other details of your lives. They might help in an emergency, but they likely would not seek you out for counsel. If you never saw them again you might not even notice. They are friendly acquaintances. They seem to be nice people.

So there is the mindset I grew up with. And all my life people I met fit into one or more of these categories. Best friends. Friends. Acquaintances.

Then came Facebook, and Twitter, LinkedIn, and Second Life. Now my "friends" number in the hundreds. I have friends I have never met. Never spoken to face to face.  I have virtual coffee in Twitter every morning with a bunch of people I really like from all over the world.  I have gotten close to some of them in Second Life as well as Twitter.

My SL friends range from virtual lovers (or ex-lovers) to people I bumped into at some virtual event once. They have been in SL from my beginnings and Some came into my life with an intensity that left me breathless. And left leaving me feeling hollow.  Are we still friends if we never speak?

Friendships in virtual worlds come and go so fast I no longer know how to place them in my life. Should I trust the intensity of my feelings for someone who is liable to disappear without a trace in a year, few months, days. How are we to be friends if I never know your real name? We friend and unfriend as our moods and tempers wax and wane--the emotions are certainly real. But what does it mean if you can discard me or I can discard you at the click of an "unfollow" button?

How can we be lovers without that real touch that first friends have in real life? Do I really mean to you what you say I mean to you or are the connections we make in a virtual world as much a fiction as the alternate reality itself. Isn't it a commitment to a virtual friendship just as deep as a real one? We are, after all, real people behind these avatars.

What does it mean when I am falling for you, have fallen in love with you, and suddenly you are gone? I don't think I know any more. And sadly, because of the strangeness of SL friendships that have gone from sweet to bitter in a matter of days, I don't think I can ever trust "friendships" like I once did.

Sometimes it feels like all my friendships have become emptier.

New Toulouse Bayou: a Voudoun Sim in Second Life

Deep in the back woods and waterways of New Toulouse Bayou you stumble across a ramshackle building. Strange smells, incense, candles, the sound of the water, crackle of a firepit. It's Burke Benoir’s B&B Spiritual Supplies. You need a brightly colored voudou doll? She has them in all colors. How about a Hand of Fatima for protection? Candles? She’s got candles for all purposes! St. John the Conqueror for house blessing. Uncrossing to rid you of bad luck. Even candles to call up Marie Laveau, the bad-ass-est witch of all times! Check out the boney-legged altar table. Locks and keys and bottle trees.  Wish bones and lucky elephant statues. A piggy for prosperity. Dried spiders, evil eye beads, and fairy crosses. A chicken foot or a rose quartz crystal. You need it, Burke’s got it. Come by, too, for the dancing under the stars on the Sabbat. Have a drink to Baron Samadhi and toast the loa on the full moon. Come do the circle dance on the edge of the Bayou.

You can visit New Toulouse Bayou in-world at http://slurl.com/secondlife/New%20Toulouse%20Bayou/21/117/22

Celtic Night at The Noob

Celtic Night at The Noob (1), originally uploaded by Tsai Jie.

Aurelia Lionheart has a new club called The Noob with a great sort of uban-grunge industrial look; and last night at the grand opening, a bunch of the Second Life Twitter crowd showed up to dance to the DJ stylings of my friend Thorgal (that's him in the center in the sexy kilt next to Aurelia). The theme and the music was Celtic/folk, so I wore my favorite white Celtic gown (from Suki's Silks).

More Celtic Night at The Noob

Celtic Night at The Noob (2), originally uploaded by Tsai Jie.

The couple getting hot and heavy on the dance floor are Finn and Winona, a couple of my Twitter friends. Aren't they cute? You can follow their romance on Twitter--look for @FinnPoitier & @WinonaWiefel!

Places in Second Life: Athan Selidor

There are places in SL you go to hang out with friends. There are places you go to shop, or dance, or role play. And then there are places you go to to just be. To stand on a beautiful shoreline and breathe in a sunset, watch a wave crash on a rock, explore the corners of an ancient library. These are the beautiful places. The places that take your breath away, make you want to just stop and stare. Or sit and meditate. To, like I said, breathe. And be.



This is Athan Selidor. An island. An ancient building. A library of obscure wisdom. A refuge.

I was first shown this place by my dear friend, Draven. An artist and a builder, he has a talent for finding beautiful places in SL--and I am always delighted when he shows me some new place he has discovered in his travels.

There are many tiny islands in Athan, but one large main one. On that is the library. Or maybe it is a temple.

It has the feel of antiquity and peace that go with ruins, and yet it is not ruined. Balconies and galleries like a castle, even a tiny chapel in the bottom. Then again, castle, temple or library, what does it matter. 

It is what it is.

In the basement of the large building on the main island, is the library, Liber Obscurum. While visiting here I have met few people. One wandering vampire, and the man who tends the library, Talisein Llewellyn. 

If you have questions he will be happy to answer them. There are notecards about as well, with information on a number of arcane topics. Me, I like some things to remain a mystery. 

I like to think of this as an kind of abandoned Atlantean outpost. Perhaps a beautiful and wise people once lived and loved here. Then one day abandoned their paradise because  whatever serendipity that drove them pushed them in a different direction. 

I can almost see their ships pulling away, taking them to new horizons.

Will they return? Who can say. Only time and the tides can tell.

Bored now.

Had a lazy day, lolled about sleeping, played in Plurk. When I finally got up enough steam to head in-world and see what was up, no one was around to play with. *pouts*

Is it the Olympics? Everyone watching TV? 

I had a ping earlier in the day from Ins who was at the airport in my town on his way to Vegas. But he didn't have enough time between planes for me to hook up with him for coffee. 

Chatted up Spiff briefly in-world, but then he had RL things to do. 

Spoke to Thorgal, too, for a couple seconds. But I didn't want to bother him, he seemed busy. 

Got a nice note from Jamesen. Maybe I'll see him for coffee, but not until later in the week. 

Bored now. Think I will wander off to bed with a good book. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Anyone know where I can get a large economy sized package of Motivation?

Second Life places: Matanzas Island, home of Skate Foss

Had a lovely time tonight visiting my new friend Skate Foss (who I met through Twitter) on her beautiful sim: Matanzas Island. Skate has several  lovely places for rent there for anyone who wants a tropical island refuge for their second life home. She kindly gave me a tour of the public areas for residents, as well as her own beautiful home.

We began the tour in the greenhouse, a place for residents to gather and enjoy quiet conversation, perhaps over a cup of herbal tea grown from the herbs right there.


Just outside the greenhouse is a lovely waterfall, and while the climb up the waterfall is a bit treacherous and slippery, it is well worth the surprise at the top!

Right at the top of the hill is a sheltered nook that holds a tropical rain forest complete with brightly colored birds and even the occasional rain shower.

Skate's own lovely home built of glass and stone is on the beach below.  It has a marvelous view of the ocean.

If you stop by to visit Skate, you will likely land in the public dock area for residents. There are boats for sailing and a nice beach area for swimming and for beach parties. Ask Skate to show you the homes she has for rent; each is different and all are surrounded by sand dunes offering privacy from neighbors. A peaceful and tranquil place to live. No griefers or rudeness allowed!

Matanzas is a beautiful place to see as well as a great place to live. I am delighted to be able to call Skate Foss a friend, and was honored to be invited to visit her there!

Jamesen and Tsai

Jamesen and Tsai, originally uploaded by Tsai Jie.

It has been a rough few months for me. In RL, I just lost my father. In SL I lost a man I loved with all my heart, and with him went my faith in what I thought we ever meant to each other.

Jamesen has been with me through all of it. Listening, holding me when I need to be held. Being a shoulder to lean on. Real friends do that, they are there for you. They listen to you even when it is painful or opens their own wounds.

Thank you, Jamesen, for being my friend.

Callahan's Crosstime Saloon has a New Location

Sad news, Callahan's had to leave the lovely New Conch Republic sim they were on. 

Good news, Callahan's has a new home in Karyukai!

            http://slurl.com/secondlife/Karyukai/252/13/24

And so the usual suspects gathered on Tuesday night to see The Place in its new location. Here's me and Amanda and Cisop chatting at a table. Bes, Daeron, Crystal, and Oliron in the back there.

The thing about the Callihooligans is they just can't help punning--or funning--even on an Unday. Juneberry treated us to a fashion show of her avatar collection, bat, bird, dragon et al. Obsidian tromped around upside down with his plunger anti-grav boots on the ceiling. Talvin, the ever meticulous, was still rearranging furniture at the end of the evening.

And as all too often happens, Amanda and I closed the bar.


Callahan's is the best of places. C'mon by on a Tuesday for Punday, or a Friday for Trivia night.

Medieval Trivia this Friday (Oct. 23rd). Hosted by the brilliant and beautiful Bes!  See you there?

Dancing with Jamesen in Crescent Moon

Second Life is a like a dance. A complexity of steps in which we give just enough, take just enough. maybe even love just enough.

Always moving in and out of the patterns. Watching our footwork, trying not to be too distracted by the touch of another's virtual hand, of another's real soul.

Last night I went dancing with Jamesen in SL. I have known him for over 2 years, and yet I barely know him at all. SL is like that sometimes. People come into your life, share as much or as little as they can, as they want. They move out of your life, come back again. And all you can hope for is second chances. Sometimes a friend like this who asks nothing more than to be a friend is a gift beyond measure.

Thank you, Jamesen, for taking me dancing and helping me destress at the end of a long strange week. To paraphrase Rick in Casablanca: "I think this is the continuation of a beautiful friendship."

Where I am going, where I have been

I know... you are confused. Wondering how you got here and where it all went. Me too.

First I had the "Diary of a Second Life Courtesan" blog. Talked about Second Life, romance, dating, love, sex, history of sexuality, everything up to and including erotica. Very popular that blog.

Then my life went off on a tangent. (Men. Go figure.) Gave up the courtesan thing. The blog mutated into stories about my Second Life with one man, my friends, fashion, dancing. Later the roller coaster took a dive.

So that blog had to go away. (Yeah. For the man.) So far away that I deleted it ... mostly. Thing about writers is we back up shit all the time. Words. They are precious, you know. Sometimes words are all we have.

And you know me. I never stop writing for long. So next blog: "Dancing Through My Second Life." Talked about friendship, romance, and fashion, all that stuff I was still feeling but not mentioning names.

And I was happy again. So happy for a while that I didn't even have time to blog.

But things are changing again. (Yeah. Men.)

Last night I decided I was done accommodating the men in my life. I mean geez! What a sad sister I have become. Sit around and wait like a china doll on a shelf watching him as he loses interest. Be miserable, unfocused, no sense of reality. Make a choice. Give up one man to make the other one happy and wham! That one puts you back on the shelf too. WTF!

So this morning I decided screw it. I had 900 hits a day on the old Courtesan blog. Went down to 10 a month maybe on the Dancing blog. Here it is fellas. I'm going back to my good old bad ways.

Moved this whole shebang back over to http://tsaijie.blogspot.com/. Gonna write this blog here now. Maybe resurrect the advice from the Courtesan.

So I'm taking it one day at a time. And if the roller coaster takes a dive, well hell, there are lots of fish in the sea. RL? SL? Who knows. Mebbe I'll go be a Companion in a Firefly sim. No strings. No pain.

You see me in-world come say hi. We'll go dancing.

When I need you to talk to me...

It has been a rough week. You know those days when everything just feels off? And you start making the little circles in your head . . . he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not.

I know Draven has been really busy. RL gets in our way so much these days. Sometimes he says, "We are in a good place." Which to me means he is comfortable with us just as we are. Why then do I feel like he's farther away than he used to be? For a fairly tough cookie I can be bloody insecure.

I wanted to talk to him about it Monday, but he wasn't there, only Wren was in-world. She had twenty questions for me: what was new with Rhi? Had I seen Seth lately? Who was that guy [Jamesen] I used to talk art with? What is he doing these days? Have I heard from Kilroy lately? I began to wonder if she was quizzing me for Draven. She does tell him evereything--little sis to big brother. Did he ask her to ask me? Was he worrying that I was seeing someone else? Was he seeing someone and was she trying to break it to me gently? Were my hormones in a dither and making me paranoid for no good reason?

Tuesday got crazy so I didn't get to talk to Draven in the morning. You know a half a year ago I would have heard from him 10 times a day. A year and a half ago I heard from him once or twice a week. Where we are now--chat once a day, an email here and there, in-world for a bit every other night or so--really does seem to be a balance point. So why am I so greedy for more of his time. For more of him? Selfish woman. Well, I thought, we have a date for a long romantic evening Wednesday night. We will talk about all this, and laugh at my foolishness, and it will be all better.

Now here I am Wednesday, I've put on a pretty dress, and I am sipping tea in Jhai's shuttle waiting for him. But haven't heard from him. He was supposed to be here at 5pm or so, and it is going on 9pm. He was on the road in RL today. I can't help feeling something has happened. He wouldn't stand me up, would he? He'd IM if something happened and he couldn't make it wouldn't he?

Where are you, my heart, when I need you to talk to me?

The good, the bad, and the beautiful

Odd day yesterday. Some very good things--I was given an amazing gift by a special lover. Some bad things--my desktop computer crashed and burned and is gone, which lead to an argument with another lover.

Bad: I lost track of what day was what, thus confusing my commitments. (I am told that is part of the "SL effect"--the phenomenon whereby things in SL seem more real than things in RL and--if you are not careful--your fantasy can take over your reality.)

Good: I got more (or better) sleep last night than I have had in a week.

Bad: So many men, So little time. Good: Amazing men! One who makes me feel beloved. One who makes me laugh, a lot, to whom I can talk about anything, even RL. One who looks out for me.

Bad: I need to go computer shopping. Good: I'd been planning on buying a new computer anyway, and have the cash. Bad: I have 2 weeks worth of not-backed up files on the hard drive I can't access. Good: I have a access to a great IT department. Bad: I don't have time for this. Good: I can buy more RAM and a better graphics card and a faster processor. Bad: if I buy off the shelf, I am stuck with Windows Vista and SL doesn't run in Vista (neither does my RL wireless access). And if I order, there is the wait. Good: ???

Ever have one of those days when your brain keeps going around in circles?

The Beautiful. . . On the other hand, it is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, remarkable thunderstorms last night cleared the air and watered my gardens. I have many beautiful friends, lovers--physically handsome people, with beautiful hearts, and incredible minds (yes, you ... you know who you are!). Life is good.

So my dears, remember the adage of Auntie Mame: "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Come dance with me?

"Let it Be Me"

GFs are a Girl's Best Friend

So last night was another night that I sat in SL hoping for someone to come online to play. I could have been writing, or cleaning (gonna have RL company in 2 weeks), or doing something useful. I guess I did do something useful, I moved the waterfall wall we have (thanks Jhai!) to block the view of the stupid fleamarket next door with its revolving yellow signs. Here is the thing, though: once upon a time women sat alone at home by the phone waiting for someone to call. Today women check their cell phones for messages a dozen times an hour, waiting for a text, an email, a message. And if we play in Second Life, now we watch the Friends Online like a hawk, or we sit in SL waiting. Why do we do that? Why don't we just get up and go do something on our own? Why do we need playmates at all? Remember that feminist rant from the 70s: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle?" Maybe we girls need to think like that again.

There I was feeling sorry for myself . . . no one to dance with, poor (sic!) me. Then Ash logged in. So we went to sit in Jhai's airship--it has a tea table set up in the nose where there is not only a great view, but you can sit and sip tea quietly and chat with a friend. We sat up drinking tea and chatting into the wee hours like a couple of teenagers. We talked about men and the problems of long-distance relationships. (Her boy, Wulf, is away this week and she will be away next week--no computer connections for two weeks! Somehow that made my troubles at the time pale in comparison.) We talked about places and furniture and clothes and even about airships. (Wulf has seen these and now he wants one.) It was a lovely evening. Girl talk. No boys.

So, ladies, next time you find yourself sitting by the phone (real or metaphoric) go hunt up a GF and hang. It is a much better way to pass the time.

Times and Tides of SL Romance

So this evening as I was hanging out in Draven's Airship just hoping for him to pop on, my sister Jhai showed up. We sat and chatted, compared RL notes, talked about work a bit, what I have been writing, what she has been up to (she has a poem in a new anthology just published this month--you go girl!). I was just telling her my latest story of dancing with Draven in Steelhead in the ballroom when Jinara stomped in all upset. "Men. I hate Men! They are never there when you want them. Never around unless they want something from you!" She threw herself onto the couch between Jhai and I.

I could see Jhai rolling her eyes, but I asked what the problem was anyway and Jinara launched into a diatribe about Hawk. It seems she has been IMing Hawk again with no response. I don't know if I've told you all about Hawk. He is quite the man of mystery. Big, bad, and biker looking kind of guy, doesn't say much, but, oh my, what a hottie. Tall, dark, eye candy!

Hawk joined our little clan together with Heron, a tall leggy blonde (well to be honest we Serendipity girls are all blonde except for Wren who is in a goth phase right now) who has attitude in spades. Now Heron may be Hawk's GF, or wife, or ex-lover, or sister, or something else entirely to him. No one seems to know but those two and they aren't telling. All I know is that that they were together a lot, and they do seem to know each other in RL as well as in SL. Of late, though, Heron has been hanging out in Club Vicious and Hawk has been taking Jinara out. Well, when he is inworld that is, which isn't often at all. Hence Jinara's pique.

Jhai, as usual, launched into her Mommy-mode and immediately began telling Jinara how she didn't need a man to make her complete. How the world doesn't revolve around sex, not what Jinara wanted to hear at all. "I love him," she wailed, "I want him so much, but he is never here when I am! I don't think he loves me as much as I love him!"

Now I have been through several men already with my friend Jinara. First it was Malcolm, but she doesn't talk about him much anymore, and in fact none of us have seen him on in months. Then it was my own Draven she had a crush on, but he treated her like a kid sister. And there were brief flirtations with a guy named Jordan, and the DJ, Hotflash, at Blue Noise. Now it is Hawk. But is it really true love this time for her?

"You have to have some faith in your man, Sweetie," I told her, "I am sure Hawk cares for you." I tried to explain that the thing about SL is that it really is--and it has to be--secondary to our various realities. I paused to look at the clock and realized how late it had gotten and that I would not be seeing my Draven either that evening. Still I wanted to be supportive of Jinara so I said, "I am sure Hawk has just been really busy. I am sure he'd be here for you if he could be."

"No! That's just it! He was here. I've been messaging him and messaging him. And then he came on when I was AFK and when I didn't answer he left again! It is just not fair," she cried, "Why don't I ever get a break in love!"

Jhai laughed out loud at that one and I shot her a look hoping she'd get the clue that this was not funny to Jinara. "Kid," Jhai said, "It is all just the turn of the wheel. One day the universe spins all your way, the next it smacks you in the face and dumps you on your ass. You just gotta pick yourself up and move on. Send him another message. If he gets it and if he feels the same way about you that you do about him, he'll be back . . . eventually." Jhai stood up and left then, telling us she had to get out of this den of raging hormones and that we should both try to "focus for once on something other than men, for heaven's sake!"

I just shook my head. I was thinking of all the couples in SL who think that they have found true love, but then give up on it in a matter of weeks, or even days. I thought about Draven and I who have been together almost 18 months now. Will we last? Can an SL only relationship really stand the test of time. I heard Jinara say it again, "I love him so much! I really, really need him!" I know just how she feels. But I told her I was calling it a night, and I left her there. To be honest I didn't want to think about how often our connections in the virtual world are messed up by the real world getting in our way. I left her sitting in the growing dark. Waiting and hoping that the man she wants so much to be with will return to her if she is just patient enough, for long enough. I sure hope he does. I hope it for both of us.

An evening in Amatsu Shima

Amatsu Shima is a beautiful sim based in Medieval Japan. One of my oldest friends, Corwyn, is a hogosha to a Geisha house there and a member of the group that does recreation of Japanese history and culture.


Tonight he took me to see the new teahouse he had built. A lovely little building that could hold a tea master and four guests for a traditional Chado or Tea Ceremony. The landscaping around the teahouse including a beautiful little waterfall, was done by Suzanne Logan, who runs the geisha house and school there. The garden has a bamboo grove, flowered walkways, and a sweet little bench where we sat and chatted watching herons in The ocean waves crashing on the rocks, a cat circling among the flowers and the rocky paths, and two friends having quiet conversation. A lovely evening in all.

Of Being Birds and Designing Dresses

So Draven has been designing again. He has a new dress series called "Dove." Dove came out of a conversation about a tag Jinara picked for herself in our group. See we sort of accidentally developed this bird name thing.

The bird tags came about because Draven's shop is called Bird of Prey, and back when he started building he made a tag for himself to go along with that: "Black Crow." This is appropriate in many ways for him--he always wears black, his SL name comes from the movie The Crow, and like the ravens that sat on Odin's shoulders he is always quietly observant, collecting information about the world around. He gave me the nickname "White Crane" because of the Decemberists song "The Crane Wife," which, he said, made him think of me. I liked that since my name, Tsai, means white or pale, and because the crane is a symbol in Asian folklore for wisdom, virtue, and longevity. One Japanese tradition also says if you fold 1000 origami cranes your wish will come true. That also seems right to me as I'd like to think I've made a lot of men's wishes come true (wink!) in my day.

When Wren joined us in SL (or maybe I should say when Draven turned her on to SL) she picked her bird name purposely to match her brother's; her tag is "Dark Bird," very appropriate for my lover's goth-chick little sister. My own sister, Jhai, joined us not long after and she picked the tag "Silent Swan" (she's had a thing for swans ever since Mom put a swan on the cake for her sixth birthday, though Jhai is anything but silent!).

Up to that point Jinara had just worn the standard member tag in our group: "Balance Seeker." In fact it was Jinara who started the group, so she was rather opposed at first to the "bird trend" as she called it. But then a couple months ago some of us were sitting around the table in the dining room, Jhai and Draven with coffee cups in their hands while I was sipping green tea, when in strolled Jinara wearing a tag that read: "Soiled Dove."

Jhai nearly snorted her coffee through her nose. "OMG!" she said to Jinara, "Do you have any idea what a 'soiled' dove is?"

"I dunno. A pigeon maybe?" Jinara mumbled, looking puzzled, "I just heard it somewhere and kinda liked it."

"Oh, my dear girl, you just labeled yourself as a 'lady of the evening'!" replied Jhai, who was still chuckling as she (ever the teacher) explained it to a mortified Jinara, and a highly amused Draven and I.

It seems that in the 18th and 19th centuries the term "soiled dove" was applied in particular to gentlewomen (doves) who had fallen from some higher social strata into prostitution (thus soiled) by a need to support themselves after having been wronged and/or deserted by men. In fact, in one famous speech called the soiled dove plea, an attorney in 1889 convinced an all-male jury to acquit a woman facing prostitution charges by arguing that women were not to be blamed, but that it was instead men who should take the blame for the prostitution into which some women are forced.

I thought it was pretty funny that Jinara, who has been a dancer and a stripper but never an escort, should label herself as one inadvertently; while I, who have taken pay for my "services," was labeled as a crane, a sign of purity. No wonder Jhai found it hilarious!

I could see Draven's wheels turning as Jhai told the story, and I was right. Pretty soon he had the dress all planned out. Imagine the girl headed west to find the lover who has gone off to war--but he is not to be found. Her once beautiful best dress is eventually worn to shreds as she runs out of money and hope, and finally, in desperation, she turns to a life of prostitution to feed herself.

Draven built the dress with multiple looks. There is the pure white version, the white underdress with a softly dove-colored overdress, and then he made the same dresses in torn, tattered, and soiled fabrics. Both also come in long and short skirt versions.


This is me wearing the pure white Dove, and below I am wearing it with the overdress while standing to the left of Jinara who is wearing the Soiled Dove overdress version.

Funny thing about that tag "Soiled Dove" is that despite its connotations, Jinara (who is still young enough to disapprove of selling sex, of the SL escort business, with all the moral certainty of youth) is the one still wearing it.

Moving On Up!

I haven't been writing much of late because I have been incredibly busy in both RL and SL. In RL it was back to school time, and in SL I have also been learning...to build! It all started with Draven's fascination with airships. See in Valis we kept getting weirder and weirder neighbors. First there was a giant ugly box of a castle with neighbors that had a loud obnoxious trivia game broadcasting day and night. Then they sold to a strip club with loud misspelled-text promotional ads that were broadcasting (you got it) day and night. That was always empty, so it sold to a couple who turned it into a large ugly purple club with loud gambling machines. To the other side of us is a really ugly house with big signs advertising a store. For a while now the only amusing thing about the neighbors has been guessing how long till they fold and move on and what ugly thing will turn up next! So Draven proposed we take down the Villa we'd been living in, and live in the airship high above all the chaos below.

Now we share space with several folks (it gets us a bigger space and larger tier). There is my older sister, Jhai; Draven's younger sister, Wren; my friend, Jinara (the group was actually her idea); her first SL boyfriend, Malcolm; Wren's friends, Hawk and Heron (We got this group bird title thing going, and Wren met them while camping when they all looked at each other's names); Dabrin, who is a friend/RL colleague of Draven's; and our most recent addition, Japhrimel, a friend and student of Jhai's who I think of as our younger brother.

But if we were going to move up into the sky what did that mean for our friends? One big family meeting later (well, really it all us girls, Japh, and Draven, since Hawk didn't care and Mal and Dabrin are never around much anymore) we decided to move all of us up into the sky. First we placed Draven's airship, the "Nereide."


Then Jhai bought a second airship, the "Selene."

And Draven rezzed a copy of the ship he'd built for Jhai's SL workplace, a green glass blimp I promptly christened the "Vitreaux."

I had a grotto with a pool and a waterfall (by Juanita Deharo), so I built a big flying hunk of concrete to place it on. It has wind chimes, a Straylight tree, an Isle of Mists waterlily that opens and closes with the sun, and 2 lily pads Jhai found that we can float on. Inside the grotto are candles, a small waterfall and pool, and a grassy place that will be just right for Draven's Kamasutra rug (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Draven's Rustica furniture and the lovely claw-footed tub he made (for one or two!) also needed a place to be, so I built a large flying rock garden. I took a large, rocky, sculpted megaprim and made an edging of boulders from the library by matching the textures, added a grassy patch Draven had made (for our old yard below), flowers, trees, and then linked the whole thing.

I am particularly proud of the L-shaped bridge that links the Grotto and the Flying Rock because I built that all by myself. The base of it is 2 prims with mahogany planking texture, but nowhere could I find an iron railing texture. Then I remembered a freebie iron-topped table I had in inventory--I took it apart and used the texture on the transparent prim that was the table surface, and stretched it out with the texture repeating for the rail (thank you, oh unknown builder, for your lovely table!). It took a bit of finagling to get it all to line up so I could link it, but one thing I have learned from Draven is not to give up. When you are frustrated, walk away and come back later. It will be a better build if you do.

Jhai and Wren popped in from time to time to give me advice, and Draven came by to check up on me and teach me a new trick here or there, but mostly I just arranged and rearranged all by myself. I've placed our Intan couples dance balls everywhere, and a Bits and Bobs kiss or two around for Draven and I (or for Jinara and her next mad crush). I can't wait to see Draven tonight and show him around. I got him a present too, a murder of crows from WaterMoon Breeze to fly around his ship and the shop below.
Oh, yes, down below Draven rebuilt the villa as the main store for Bird of Prey Designs. Come by and see his dresses and Steampunk gear, stay tuned for more of his furniture builds, and if you want an airship skybox of your own, just IM him--I am certain he'd build you one, too.