Recap...

It has been a while so I thought I ought to log in and catch you up on what this girl has been up to. First a bit of a recap....

My RL life took a turn for the weird this year... and for stress relief I have found myself in SL
more of late. Now here's the thing: I have been role playing in SL for a while. First it was Firefly sims with "D", then Startrek sims with my friend Mandy. And if you've been keeping up you know I began playing in Gor this year.

The whole Gor thing started as an accident. Sort of. my first few weeks in SL I fell in love--they call it the SL effect--had a torrid affair in SL. Three years worth. When he dumped me, I was broken. Then I thought maybe we could be friends, and for a while we were. Sort of. Back just before he told me to go away, he was building in Gor and roleplaying there. I admit my first interest in Gor was hoping to bump into him. Maybe. See if he was there. But he never was. Sadly, I will always mourn the loss of his friendship. I still think of him; I suspect I will for the rest of my life. But life goes on. This summer I decided to try the Gor thing in earnest.

I began my SL career seven years ago as a "courtesan." In Firefly I played a "licensed companion." In Star Trek an Orion Slave Girl (it's not easy being green!). I like flirting and men with intelligence. Men who can hold a conversation. Men with imagination, and a sense of humor. (I also blame D for spoiling me there. He set the bar rather high!)  What being in Gor has taught me is that in my heart of hearts, I am a submissive. I like playing the role of "slave." It also taught me that I am very very picky about "Masters."

I tried being a city slave girl in a couple of Gorean sims. Not so much fun.  Most of the time the men are busy running around raiding or being raided, the free women are hiding in the basements when they are not belittling the slaves, and the slaves keep scrubbing the floors waiting for the fireworks to end so they can go back to pouring wine. No one talks to or flirts with slaves. It is all "come here slut/beast and do X."

In July I took one man's collar. That turned out badly. While collared to that Master I met a Jarl who told me he would claim me someday. I've been chatting with him off and on in IM since (and I like the conversations), but I haven't seen him since day one although he is online every time I log in. How long does a girl wait to be claimed? In the Gor Hub I met another Master who was interesting and we talked about the philosophy of being a slave/sub in RL. But he wants a slave in RL as well as SL, has a bunch of girls who fly across the country to be with him for days at a time in RL. Nice guy, but I am NOT into that.

So now I am between Masters. Hanging out in the Gor Hub. Hoping for... Hmmm... I don't know what I am hoping for....

Just another day in Gor

Today I logged in and saw my Master online, so I went to the Gor Hub--his usual hangout. Surprise! He was not there. I wondered, "Should I IM him?" Instead I decided to do some shopping. My first Master used to--as soon as he saw me online--tug my leash and transport me to wherever he was. My first Master told me not to speak to other men in SL and kept in touch with me when we were both offline by email and texts messages. My current Master does not seem to care what I do when he is not around. Or even when he is around. Ah well. That just means a girl is free to SHOP!

I sometimes wonder why I like dressing up and changing clothing in SL so much. I am not such a clothes horse in RL. Maybe I never had enough time with my Barbie dolls as a kid. Maybe I'm fondly remembering my mother dressing me up in all the girly clothing--pink ribbons in blonde curls, lace and ruffles and skirts (back then though I was as likely to go climb a tree and tear the finery!) In any case I love to primp for a Master in SL. Or I did. My previous Master liked me to change clothing. I asked his favorite colors and dressed to please him. He made suggestions and then was very creative in tearing off bits silks and tying my hands with them.

I don't know what my current Master likes. I think I must be a pretty bad slave that can't even suss our her Master's tastes. (Though I might have better luck if he talked to me instead of at me.) I wonder if my Master even noticed that this girl changed her clothes to match the colors of his yesterday?

So there I am in the middle of a store and Master IMs me. He does not pull my leash, does not call me to where he is. I do not see him at all this morning. But I respond (in IM). 
     Me: Good morning, Master. This girl hopes you are well.
     Him: i am well *rubs her breast firmly*
     Me: Does Master have any commands for his girl?
     Him: smiles "yes... i think its high time i use my slut before i go to work"  as he unbuttons himself
     Me: kneels before you
     Him: taking his cock as he grips her hair shoving his cock deep inside her mouth
              "suck on it my slut... show me what a good whore you are"

I don't have to say a thing, though he'd like me to scream now and again. My inner courtesan is thinking Seriously? And you get off on this shit? But he apparently does. And then off he goes. AFK for a while, not to be bothered. Don't call us, we'll call you.  

Now I do get it. A slave is there to be used. I've read the books. But I can't help thinking, "Dude, you want me to roleplay you have to give me a role!" I am not a RubberDoll!

I, too, have to go AFK. I need to pace. To vent. Instead I go get a cup of coffee.

Ten days I say to myself. I will stick it out for ten days. Ten days is generous, right? I see a lot of profiles where there is a 3 day capture limit.

I have survived days one through three. This is day four. But I can wait. Anticipation makes all things sweeter. I finish my coffee and go back to shopping.