Making it Real?

Love is such a funny thing. It can be so all consuming. You see it in literature all the time . . . The lover can't sleep, can't eat, can't think of anything but the beloved. But here is a question: does love really need to be so demanding? Why can't we just "be there" for each other? Why must love always have demands . . . what makes us think that loving gives us a right to ask for more, or to offer less?

And then there is love in Second Life, where virtual love has its own set of complications. I heard from an old friend just the other day who is struggling with the borders between SL and RL. "Vee" has been looking for the right woman (read: a sexually compatable woman) ever since he got involved in SL. He thinks he finally found her. They even got partnered in SL. Now he faces a dilemma. Does he leave well enough alone? Enjoy the virtual relationship as it is, build an SL life? Or ask for more by asking to meet her in RL? Tough questions. Especially since both of them are RL married. With kids.

The way things usually go in RL is that you meet someone. You date a while, get to know all about each other, then--if things are still good--you make it all public. You move in together, get engaged, maybe married. You would at least meet each other's friends, families. And above all in RL you would end the one relationship before going public with the second. Not so in SL.

In SL we begin with masks. And we tend to stay behind the masks. There is no conflict with multiple partners, or for that matter with kids or in-laws. No one leaves their dirty laundry on the bedroom floor, leaves the cap off the toothpaste or the toilet seat up. There are no bad hair days, warts, zits, farts, burps. No need for any unpleasantness and thus no need for any real effort. A self-sustaining fantasy that only takes the right words in chat to keep your beloved happy. It's a pretty good boat. Why rock it?

Remember the case in the news a few years ago of Dutch, the married guy who neglected his RL wife and family for his SL GF? He ended up divorcing, then marrying the SL GF in RL. I wonder if he's happy. You could see hime in-world from time to time, on the Pirate Sim he and Tenaj  (new wife) built together. I wrote about the consequences of virtual "cheating" a while back, but I still don't have any good answers about that except to say we each can only make choices for ourselves never for anyone else, not even for our beloveds. Here's the thing, though. If what happens in SL stays in SL, you are less likely to cause or feel RL hurt--to anyone, yourself included.

Some do move love into RL from SL. I see couples all the time with lines in their 1st life profiles that say "we met in SL and now are together in RL."

On the other hand what if the love of your SL life can't or doesn't want to get RL serious? Maybe he/she is married in RL, and is not prepared to sacrifice that? Or not ready for any commitment that extends beyond the safety of the SL masks? Is the love any less real? Again, that's a case by case and person by person decision. Yes, only you can decide if you want to take the chance on meeting her in RL, and on what terms. But here's a clue. If you don't know her real name, address, phone number . . . if she hasn't shared those things yet . . . then she's not ready. And pushing it will only break it. If you love him/her you have to respect that.

A Song for This Morning: Ben Harper, "Morning Yearning"

a finger's touch upon my lips
it's a morning yearning
pull the curtains shut, try to keep it dark
but the sun is burning...

like a summer rose, i'm a victim of the fall
but am soon returning
your love's the warmest place the sun ever shines
my morning yearning

A Song for Tonight: "One Sweet Love" by Sara Bareilles

Just about the time the shadows call
I undress my mind and dare you to follow
Paint a portrait of my mystery
Only close my eyes and you are here with me
A nameless face to think I see
To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of
My own devices....
Could I be wrong?

The time that I've taken I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?

Sleepless nights you creep inside of me
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share
You take more than just my sanity
You take my reason not to care.
No ordinary wings I'll need
The sky itself will carry me back to you
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up
The moon for you
Just come down soon

The time that I've taken I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sip on
The southern rain
As I do, I don't look don't touch don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.

The earth that is the space between,
I'd banish it from under me...to get to you.
Your unexpected love provides my solitary's
Suicide...oh I wish I knew

The time that I've taken I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

Adam Ramona's Seventeen Unsung Songs

Second life is primarily a visual treat, and so art in SL tends toward the fantastic, the improbable and the impossible. On the island of East of Odyssey, however, Adam Ramona--known in real life as Adam Nash, a 3D artist, performer, composer and programmer who uses online space (and sound) as a realtime performance medium--has taken the visual and integrated it organically with the aural and even the emotional in a sim-wide installation he calls Seventeen Unsung Songs.

Nash's installations use a combination of color, prim transparency, and scripting to make interactive art such as this complex piece: " Unsung Song #4: Mitosis." The central piece is an plant with a central shaft that responds to touch. Touch it enough and it ejaculates pollen which, if it falls into the cupped petals below, may turn into red eggs. The eggs hatch pink larvae which turn into blue bugs. Touch a blue bug and it falls to the ground as a blue transparent prim which begins to grow into a music tree, each square blue branch sounding a different chime when touched.




Another of Nash's complex pieces is "Unsung Song #16: Blue Sound Ground" a roadway made up of transparent blue prims, each of which sounds a different note when walked on by an avatar.

The notes range from percussive sounds to voices to melodious chimes. Multiple avatars walking on this road thus literally make a unique song of surprisingly harmonious tones.


The most amazing and perhaps disturbing of Nash's pieces is "Unsong Song #7: The Moaning Columns of Longing." Dr. Lisa Dethridge (Lisa Dapto) says in her paper on Nash's work:

The artist leaves less room for us to negotiate space around his highly interactive work, the Moaning Columns of Longing. This is perhaps the most mysterious and emotive of the works. Here artist toys deliberately with the “hot buttons” of love and pain that drive us all, especially those enmeshed in virtual affairs . . . In response to an avatar’s touch, tall, white columns spawn instantly with a phallic upward thrust. These gently swaying prims define themselves as artificial life forms that exist only in relation to a single, specific Avatar. They are exclusive and faithful to a fault.
The columns sway and ooze particles for joy or shrink and pine desperately when rejected. They communicate directly, challenging each owner/lover/user to prove their love and loyalty. In this giggly theatre of cruelty, the Avatar may choose to support and “love”, to ignore or even to abuse the artificial life form that is now virtually “theirs.” Like real life lovers however, the Moaning Columns make heavy demands on the avatar, challenging us to differentiate between real love and merely dizzy infatuation. Thus we earn what Nash wryly calls “an endless amount of chances to practice emotional responsibility.”

I have to admit that after three days of my "Column" moaning at me I couldn't stand it anymore and I let it die--if nothing else, Nash has reminded me in a very concrete object lesson about the dangers of emotional entanglement in SL. A lesson many of us need to learn. The Unsung Songs of Adam Ramona/Adam Nash are not your typical artistic builds, they are a multimedia treat and a closer look at in our own mirrors, and at our own obsessions, all rolled into one. Go visit East of Odessey and see for yourself.

Courtesan's Sex Tip of the Month: Getting it Wet

Nothing makes the end of the day more special than the thought of a hot bubble bath come the evening. And what better than a bath with your man? "Taking a bath à deux can be incredibly seductive," says Cosmo Magazine. "Just lathering up each other with bare hands is sensual and exciting. . . . So next time you're having a sexy suds-fest with your man, have him lie back, resting his head on the edge of the tub. Facing him, kneel over one of his legs (his thigh should be sandwiched between your thighs), and lower yourself onto him. When he's inside you, wrap your ankles around his calf so you're fully entwined. Then lean forward and hold on to the edge of the tub behind his head to support yourself as you glide back and forth over his body, rather than up and down. The zero gravity of the water gives you a wider range of motion than you'd usually have and lets you experience new sensations every time you alter your movements.

'This position creates a slower buildup, which can ultimately lead to an exciting climax,' says Susan Crain Bakos, author of The Sex Bible: The Complete Guide to Sexual Love. Don't worry about taking too long; you'll have plenty of time to enjoy it. 'Your man is getting less friction than he's used to, so it can delay his orgasm,' she adds."

Translating those moves into your second life is not as difficult as you might think. I know what you will say--a good sex-bathtub is hard to find. You can find sex-animated hot tubs in several shops in SL, and sex animations for showers are everywhere (though the best are still at Strokerz). The problem is that animated bathtubs seem to be a rarer animal. I found one at Neptune's Kiss which took a bit of negotiating. The pose balls slip underwater and you find yourself sitting on the edge of the tub rather than the balls. That is corrected by sliding your camera under the water to "see" and sit on the balls rather than on the edge of the tub, as I found myself doing over and over until I got the hang of it.

But remember, the best part of SL is the dialogue. Pick up any sex or even just a cuddle animation and slip it into your basic tub. Then you and your partner talk through the action. Describe your soapy hands sliding over his skin. Tell him in graphic detail what you want him to do to you, what you want to do to him, and how it feels. Let your imagination run wild, since the best part of sex in SL is that there is no discomfort! (No banging your knees on the side of the tub, no worrying about fitting into cramped tiny spaces, no face full of water when you "go down" on him. . . . ) As in all SL sex, the key is that the more specific and descriptive you make your language of lovemaking, the better the visualization becomes and the more intense the orgasm will be. So get out there, girls, and get wet! And then don't forget to take those Cosmo tips home to your RL lovers, too!

The Courtesan's Sex Tip of the month: How to get what you really want for Christmas

I found this very useful tidbit on the Ambiance website:

Most people, even those with very passionate love lives, all have a sexual fantasy that has gone unfulfilled. For example, there may be a toy you've always wanted to try, or a position that's intrigued you, or a fantasy role play that you've never acted on. Have you considered the holiday season as the perfect time to introduce the idea to your partner.

Just as most of us give ample hints as to other Christmas gifts we desire, these are no different. A creative way to drop the hint is to leave a book on the subject (with a bookmark in a telling spot) next to your bed or somewhere else where your partner is sure to notice. Or, if you have a close friend who you can talk openly to, have a conversation with him or her on the phone when your partner can hear you. (And butter them up in the conversation, too: "She would look so hot. . . ." or "He would simply make me melt if he. . .") These can both be conversation starters that makes your partner aware of desire.

Or, you could also throw subtlety out the window and simply email a link to a product on a website . . . may we suggest Ambiance.com?

Now those are some good ideas and I do applaud the idea of getting the "presents" you want at the holidays (or, in fact, year 'round), but here's another thought. . . . Get in the habit of talking openly and honestly with your partner (SL and/or RL) about your wants, needs. Most women don't speak up enough about their sexual desires and most men don't push it. So we tiptoe around each other in a state of sexual frustration. Silly, isn't it?

If you are too shy to be up front, well then the hints work, too. Here's a big way to drop a hint. Take him to an adult video store and point out the videos that demonstrate what you want. (Take one or two home and watch them together, you'll get the action you want!) Or take him to the adult toy store and point out the "toy" that looks like fun. (You can even buy him the toy you want and suggest he use it on you.) Or, rather than just strategically placing the bookmark, read the whole erotic passage that turns you on out loud to him. I bet he'll be heading your way and undressing before you can say: "doesn't that sound like fun?"

Two things to always be aware of: (1) if you want sex from your partner be affectionate! Snuggle up. Pinch his ass. Touch him in intimate places. Whisper that secret fantasy in his ear. I lay you odds he'll respond. And (2) pay attention to how he touches you. Most of us touch our partners in ways we want to be touched ourselves. If you pay attention you can decipher the clues he's sending out and respond accordingly. Then when he's all turned on by your responsiveness, tell him what you like. Few of us can read our partner's minds; there is nothing wrong with up front honesty about sexuality (no matter what your mother told you about "good girls").

Good sex is reciprocal, you will get as much as you give. Here's wishing all of you a fantastic season of "giving"!

Oh and, Santa, if you are reading this. . . Ambiance is my favorite toy store, too.

Black Swan, The Lovers

Black Swan, The Lovers
Originally uploaded by Tsai Jie

Black Swan is a lovely sim that has some remarkable statuary, moving bridges, and incredible surreal art. At the center of the sim is this incredible Lovers statue which is over 100 meters tall. Another, called "Night Girl," comes to life when you touch her. The creator of this fantastic art is an avatar named Light Waves. Read more about Black Swan and other fantastic building going on in SL at the Not Possible in Real Life blog.

SL and RL: Where They Touch and Where They Collide

Funny thing about having a Second Life is that it can be so much like all the good parts of Real Life (tm) without the negatives. In both there can be dancing and sightseeing, sporting events, movies, books, concerts, there are good friends and good conversation, and there is flirting and romance and even sex.

But in SL there are no dishes to do, no laundry or cleaning, no house painting (unless you count building textures), and landscaping and repairs don't involve getting messy or dirty or tired or sore. No one has to make the bed. Taking out the trash is just a click of a button. In SL with the right partner there can be very good sex--even if it is in the form of mutual masturbation.

One of the most obvious things most people notice right away about SL is that, although it removes the bumps and discomforts of RL, it also has it's own brand of limitations. In SL I can fly, in RL I am afraid of heights; in SL I can breathe underwater, in RL I can't even swim; but in RL I am an excellent dancer, have been a professional bellydancer, in SL (and for me here is one of the disappointments of SL) I am frustrated by the limitations of what a script, a dance pole, or a poseball will let me do.

SL relationships also suffer from similar deprivations. The lovely folks at Xcite! and Strokerz have given us virtual genitalia, love animations, and sex toys. Those things, together with a sexually experienced partner who has good narrative skills, can be very stimulating, but there is one significant element missing. Human touch. The feel of your lover's hands running over your flesh. The touch of your lover's mouth on yours. The soft, salty taste of skin. The sweet hot pleasure of penetration. These are things that cannot be replaced by virtual games. Or can they?

Now there are people working on the technology to provide some of that. Believe it or not, this is a serious field of technology which is called "Teledildonics." Now you can buy a kissing phone that will give you a kiss matching the kiss of your lover on the other end. You can get a shirt that allows you to feel hugs from your distant partner. And (no shit!) there are electronic vaginas and penises through which you can stimulate each other to orgasm!

doubt that anything will ever replace the desire for real human touch, and I am sure most of us don't have the funds to invest in an arsenal of electronic devices. But there is a trend for relationships begun in SL to escalate to higher and higher levels, including spilling over to RL, and maybe this sort of electronic toy is the answer to keeping your RL and SL from overlapping or worse from colliding.

Now I am not saying you shouldn't mix SL with RL, that is of course a personal choice. The difficulty is making that choice reasonably and rationally, and--being human and fallible--if we aren't careful we can make choices that affect us or our RL loved ones badly.

The press is full of articles that bash Internet relationships. There was the story of the fellow who spends nearly 20 hours a day in SL neglecting his real wife for his SL wife. Even if you are single you can make choices that turn out badly, like the chick whose ex-online lover killed himself leaving her with no closure, or the one who is moving to the city of her Internet pal but fears becoming a homewrecker. And, when online lovers do meet, there is the issue of possibly spreading sexually transmitted diseases from meeting online partners for a quick tryst in RL.

What we never seem to hear about in the news are the many couples that meet online and then succeed in establishing solid RL relationships. I can think of a half dozen among my friends and acquaintances in SL alone. In an SL interview with Reuters SL News Center, Internet entrepreneur Arianna Huffington has even noted that:

A lot of people who want to explore different possibilities, they can now do it in Second Life instead of, say, leaving their wife—fulfilling some other fantasy. Why not experiment? I think Second Life will save marriages.

And she may be right. While many people push the online envelope into their real life, there are many more who are perfectly happy having their cake in SL and eating it in RL, too--taking the stimulation they feel by sex in SL back into improving their real live relationships and experiencing with their real partners that experimentation they have been able to explore online in a safe environment first.

So once again it all boils down to choices. Have SL sex? Why not. It is safe and it can be fun. Is it cheating if you are already RL married or committed?--only you (and your partners) can decide that. (Hell, I have one RL girlfriend who considers her BF looking at porn magazines a form of cheating.)

Should you meet that online partner in RL? Now you need to slow down and think it through. There are a whole lot of "what ifs" to consider. If you are committed in RL will it hurt that relationship? Maybe a Same Time Next Year scenerio will hurt neither of you, but what if one of you wants more and the other doesn't? What will you do if you don't like the real person as much as you do the avatar? If he/she finds you unattractive in RL? Or, worse, has lied about his/her real self? These are things to consider before you let that second life collide with your real one.

The bottom line is that there are many wonderful things about Second Life worth exploring and enjoying--especially safe virtual sex--without worrying about how much better it could be in RL. Maybe we need to take each for what it is worth. Enjoy RL for RL's sake, and enjoy SL for SL's sake. I can dance in SL for or with a partner and enjoy it for what it is--virtual communication. And I can dance in RL with or without a partner and enjoy it for the exercise of my talent as well as the potential for human touch. These worlds may touch for me someday if I find the right partner to dance with in both--and I do mean "dance," in the ballroom and in the bedroom, with a partner who I trust in both RL and SL.

On the other hand, unless it is right for both of us, these worlds may forever stay separate. It really doesn't matter as long as I make the choices wisely. In the meantime I intend to enjoy each venue for all it has to offer.

Canción Para Hoy: "Bilingual" by Jose Nunez

Just a heads up. . . the lyrics to this song are very graphic. I love them because they make me hot. If you are easily offended by raw sexuality, read no further (and BTW if you are easily offended, what the hell are you doing reading my blog?)



The only aphrodisiac I need is your voice
Hearing you speak my name
Beckoning me to answer
Telling me you want me
So I tell you that you're the answer to every question I've ever had about love
Without words I use my tongue to tell the tale of us
Tracing your shadowscape
Kneeling before you my eyes feast upon your masculinity and
All its divinity and I praise you
Because all of that is for me
I begin to indulge myself of your delicacies
Digesting semi-sweet dark chocolate decadence as it melts
Dripping down my chin
Your taste is something Godiva couldn't re-create
Needing every atom of your anatomy
Necessity is placed upon me knowing you are the source of my serendipity
Dipping in and out of me stroking more than my consciesness
Subconsciously I find myself rewinding our love scenes
In my daydreams
Seeing that face you make when you're making me cum
And it makes me want you right there and then
Thinking of you in inappropriate places I get
Tingling sensations in private locations where
I wish to be caught between a rock and your hard place
As wetness develops my legs begin to open and my spot turns to a backdraft and all
I want you to do is extinguish it
You know my body like the back of your hands
And touch me and send me into ecstacy
My thighs quiver in anticipation of deep penetration which gets me high
Body rising
Sweating
Panting
Make-up melting
Pulling my hair and
Scratching my back
I get a temporary case of tourettes because all
I can say are four letter words in a four octave-range screaming your name
[Spanish]
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
I see your tongue pink between your lips and I want it between mine
And I struggle
As you lick torturing me
I try to get away but
Not really
Running out of room begging for more
Up against the wall that has been scuffed by my stilletos
Again
You pry apart my thighs and tell me to be still
And I willingly submit to you because I love the way you dominate me
Demanding that I cum for you so I do as I'm told
You've molded me so I'm good to no-one else but you
You've conquered this once orgasmicless world and multiplied it
Again and
Again
My face radiates with after-glow
My pillow scented by you
A fragrance which haunts me
My room smells of the best sex
I
Covered in body prints and finger prints and you above me
Your name written indelibly upon my body in your genetic history
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual

Special Song for a Special Man: Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes"

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are . . .

. . . in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes. . . .

Song for a Crazy Week: "Run To You" by Bryan Adams

When it gets too much,
I need to feel your touch...

I'm gonna run to you.

Sunday Song: Nightwish "I Wish I Had an Angel"

Nightwish is a Finnish heavy metal/rock band with operatic and classical overtones. I only recently fell in love with their music, not just because of its eclectic qualities, but also for the dark beauty of these lyrics that speak of danger and desire on a muliplicity of levels.

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angelwings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight...

Last dance, first kiss
Your touch my bliss
Beauty always comes with dark thoughts...."

Nighwish's lyrics are rich with religious, gothic, Tolkeinesque, and mythologic imagery. The videos are darkly compelling, often coldly graphic with a chiaroscuro lighting that makes them starkly beautiful. All in all Nightwish is reminiscent of the poetry of Baudelaire, the erotica of Anais Nin, and the cinema of Bergman. If you want to hear more of them see my YouTube playlist. Or email me and I'll send you my favorite songs.

They call it the SL effect...

The first thing everyone does in SL is build an avatar. A persona. You, but not you. The six-million-dollar version of you: better, faster, stronger. . . also younger and prettier. All the things that you would like to be. With all the attitude and sexuality you want to display. And why not? This is a game, what is wrong with having attractive pieces. Some of us go farther. Non-humans, gender-shifting, multiple avatars and multiple persona stories. SL is all about role-playing. We can do things we'd never be able to do in real life. Live in the storylines of our fandoms. Participate in wanton sex, slave and master games, consensual violence, BDSM. Buy and sell anything, including not just our bodies, but our souls in some ways.

SL gives us the opportunity to wear complicated masks. To construct stories, behind which we are safe to escape from the complications of RL. But when does that line between RL and SL blur? When you have a mask, no one can see your real face. Or can they?

Being able to operate behind a mask gives us all a freedom that is heady and addictive. You can now be the bad-ass dude or the sexy lady. But when we act out sex and suddenly find we are falling in love, are we falling for the person or the persona? There are, in SL, a gazillion opportunities to make connections, to experience romance that we may be missing or wanting in our RLs. What happens when the RL person behind the mask starts to fall, to have real internal emotional attachment to another SL persona?

Those who say it is just an SL effect, will tell you that the emotions you are feeling are also a fantasy. You are in love in the same way anyone might have crush on an unreachable object of affection. Whether you go with it or let it go, these people tell you it will pass. And that is one way to deal with the emotions you are feeling.

But for some of us the SL persona is not too far removed from the RL persona. And the emotions, the attraction that turns to love is very real. The biological responses are all there . . . why not the psychological ones?

The irony here is that love works exactly the same in SL as it does in RL:

• You meet someone. You find them physically attractive.
  
• You flirt. You talk (most people don't realize that the largest sex organ is the brain--that conversation, flirtatious conversation, is more conducive to positive sexual experience than all the right moves in the world. This goes double in a virtual world where encounters are based, not on touch, but on narrative).
• You date (in the RL world that tends to happen over the course of weeks or months, the ease of access in SL allows that to happen over hours and days).
  
• You get even closer and have sex (in RL this takes while as we generally need to build up huge level of trust or too much alcohol, in SL however this might happen your very meeting).
• You make each other feel good. On a regular basis.
  
• You decide you can bottle and keep that feeling by tying the other person to you permanently (in RL this is marriage, in SL . . . well, people have ceremonies, but permanence ia even more ambiguous in SL)

Here is the problem. While each of us knows exactly what we are feeling, we can never--in SL or RL--know what is going on in someone else's head. Never. We can only trust in the honesty of our lovers.

I know of several RL couples who play in SL. But not with each other. One or the other partner has an SL marriage/partnership/sexual relationship with someone (or more than one) else. In the best cases all parties know and agree to allow it. are honest with each other. In some cases--and these are the ones where someone is bound to get hurt--one partner has backed off to give the other freedom to experience SL love, an SL relationship. Is that love real? I don't know, it may depend on how you define real. Love is a feeling. If you feel love it is real enough. If you love more than one person and you can't be upfront about it, if there isn't an honest attempt to make all the relationships work, you will hurt someone and likely be hurt yourself.

Love, in any reality, is based on trust and honesty. But when you open yourself up and tell honest truths, you always run the risk of being smacked down. When someone you trust is honest with you it can hurt, too. Love runs the risk of hurt because love is worth it--wherever you find it. The risk and the working through are what separates real love, wherever you find it, from shallow fantasy sexual romances.

So, yeah, I believe up-front, sometimes painful honesty. Pretty much all the time.

I also believe that there is more to SL love than just an SL effect.