Sunday's song: "Bring On The Wonder" ~ Susan Enan

Song du Jour: Ingrid Michaelson "Maybe"

I don't want to be the one to say goodbye
But I will, I will, I will
I don't want to sit on the pavement while you fly
But I will, I will, oh yes I will

Maybe in the future, you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back around
Maybe in the future, you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back

The only way to really know is to really let it go
Maybe you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back to me

Quote du Jour: On Waiting

"The opposite of talking isn't listening. It's waiting." -- Fran Lebowitz

Song du Jour: "White Flag" by Dido

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder.

I cause nothing but trouble...
you live by the rules...

And when we meet
I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still...

...I'm in love and always will be.

Frailty, thy name is woman . . .

Yesterday Draven had an hellacious day, and missed our date. This falls under the category of "Shit Happens." But I, with my frailties running full tilt in insecure mode, took all the stresses of the week and blew them out of proportion. I thought all kinds of self-pitying things when he was the one who was really having the bad day. Now I just feel foolish.

What is it about love that makes people behave badly, overreact, panic, flip out . . . all the cliches apply here. I have never been a woman to sit by a phone in Real Life (tm) hoping someone would call. But here I am sitting around Second Life just waiting for him. Hoping. What is it about this one man that can push all my buttons--good and bad--so hard?

And while I am fretting he is stressing in other ways, too. He reminds me that he is only human, can do only so much. He tells me I have an idealized image of him. Do I? I don't know. I do think he is my perfect other half in so many ways--a soul mate. Why? "I have no other but a woman's reason: I think him so, because I think him so."

Patience, I tell myself. This is just the path we have to walk. It is what it is. "Journeys end in lovers meeting, Every wise man's son doth know." I just need to have patience, and faith in Draven. And I need the gorram universe to cut us some slack.

Communication Rules: The Trouble with Text or What I Have Learned the Hard Way

George Bernard Shaw once said: "The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished." And this is doubly true in Second Life where so much is dependant on the use of Chat, a minimalist mode of expression at best, as the main form of communication. Add to that the emotional connections that take place in SL (whether casual sex, true love, the SL effect, or a combination of these) and you have a recipe for disasters.

The problem is that for many people relationships formed in SL are transitory, easily discarded if they don't fulfill the immediate needs or desires of the individuals involved. Understand here that I am not saying there is anything wrong with one-night stands, just that the information that you are only interested in those fleeting transitory relationships needs to be said up front in an SL encounter. Good communication early on saves us from hurt later.

Here are some simple rules for chat communication in SL:

1. Stay aware of the flow of the conversation. Often in chat the response comes 2 lines down in the text block. Quite often the line that immediately follows someone's statement is not the response to that statement, but a response to something said one comment further up the chain. If it feels funny it probably is and you are mishearing what your partner said. Repeat the question, ask for clarification. Yes, that takes extra time, but being sure you are both on the same page is well worth it.

2. Don't let your own agenda get in the way of listening. We often get so busy prepping and thinking of what we will say next, that we aren't listening to what the other person is actually saying. Pay attention as you type to the lines of text the other person is interjecting. If you have turned off the typing animation (as so many of us have because it is annoying) you may not even be aware when your partner is speaking. You do have to look up from the keyboard and read as well as type.

3. Ask questions, listen to the answers. Be patient. Don't be in such a hurry that you run over your partner's conversation. Remember that listening to what the fellow you are chatting up has to say is the best way to get to know him. There is nothing that will turn a man off faster than you nattering at him without listening to what he has to say, or continually talking about yourself without asking him abut himself. You know that pleasantry: "How are you?" Don't just throw it around, use it intentionally. Ask the questions and wait for a real response.


4. Indicate your real emotions. Like email, IM is void of emotion. Sarcasm can easily be misconstrued as anger, teasing as annoyance. To keep straight the subtle nuances of text speech use IM acronyms to show when you find things funny (LOL, LMAO, ROTFL), to show you are happy (VBG) or to show when you are annoyed (AAK, WTF, EOC). A technique frequently used in SL is to give body language cues in text with asterisks (*raises one eyebrow* ) or brackets ( <> ). Unique to SL is the use of "/me" to demonstrate action. For instance, in the chat line if I were to type "/me blows you a kiss" you would see "Tsai Jie blows you a kiss"--the "/me" is just a channel command to insert the name of the speaker allowing you to perform an action without the colon that would otherwise be between your name and your words. The more "body language" you add to your chat the better able your readers will be at interpreting your real meanings.

5. Be patient. IM moves at the speed of the slowest typist. If you are a speed typist and your partner is slow, you will need to be patient. If you are the slow one try breaking your text into smaller bits . . . shorter phrases . . . use ellipses to indicate that . . . you are not done speaking yet . . . and a period to show when you are done. Or just go to voice chat.

Communication is the basis of all human relationships. In SL as in RL romances, good and honest communication is the key to making it work!

A Song for Lovers: Ben Harper's "In The Colors"

We all know that sometimes the forbidden fruit is the sweetest...

...Come dance with me.

Song for the Weekend: "Right Here Waiting for You" Richard Marx

Wherever you go whatever you do,
I will be right here waiting for you....