The Courtesan's Tip of the Month: Naughty Notes

Remember those feelings of anticipation you had as you planned your first sexual encounter with a new partner? Imagination can add a lot of excitement to a potential romance and long before you and your intended hit the bedroom, you can build that anticipation with a few simple messages.

Try dropping your lover a sexy IM or naughty notecard detailing what you'd like to do to him, or what you'd like him to do to you . . . You might even design a coupon for your partner giving him permission to try the position or sexual role play of his choice. (And if you are a professional escort, a naughty coupon for a discount or a freebie is a nice way to reward a regular client and encourage him to return again and again!) Try it in RL, too, by leaving a note in your partner's bag, briefcase, or pocket.

By building your lover's (and your own!) anticipation, you will find yourself all warmed up for an night of passion that will make the earth move for both of you.

Lately I've been kissing people I'm not married to...

SL is a strange place. You can get immediately and intimately connected with people you barely know. Now I am not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, and lord knows I am not likely to give up doing so myself, but I read a post a while ago on Salon.com that reminded me of what the unintended consequences could be for SL relationships.

Salon.com has an advice column (generally witty, always interesting) written by Cary Tennis. This offering is "Lately I've been kissing women I'm not married to," a lament from a married man who finds himself wanting to act out his fantasies of making out with strangers... here's a small piece:

My situation is this: I think of myself as happily married. My wife and I have a good relationship. Our sex life is just fine. Why have I done this? My recurring fantasy is going out with a woman from work and we end up at her place after drinks, fooling around. Pretty vanilla, I know. But that's me! The situation this week followed my fantasy to a T, which I clearly found exciting. But my fantasy always goes further than what actually happened this week. I/we stopped it in its tracks because I/we knew it was wrong. But why wasn't I smart enough to stop it earlier, when we were having drinks and were both giving clear signals to each other? I would understand if I was unhappy in my marriage. That is why I find my behavior so stupid. What is my problem? 

Serial Kisser 

Dear Serial Kisser,
What is your problem? Your problem is that if you continue to kiss women you are not married to, soon you will no longer be married. That is the usual outcome with the kissing of attractive women you are not married to. You are evidently aware of this in some dim way. That would be why this hobby of yours is not bringing you unalloyed pleasure but instead a pleasure tinged with a dollop of piquant dread. . . . I mean, it's understandable what's been happening. Get a few drinks in you and you want to kiss people. It's natural. Nothing wrong with that per se, except you're married. You know the rules. You knew the rules when you signed up. Nobody forced you to sign up. You signed up on your own. There are a lot of people you don't get to kiss now. It's tough, I know. But those are the rules. 

If Cary is correct, well, there are a lot of us breaking those rules by our actions in our SL lives. So the ultimate question becomes: is having a relationship in SL a threat to an RL relationship? I personally know of at least 2 RL couples playing in SL who have come close to the brink of separation/divorce and may yet tip over it. These are RL married couples who play separately in SL and have SL relationships with SL partners other than their RL ones. And in both cases each partner has one or more SL sweetie, someone other than their RL one. It should also be said that in each case the RL relationship was in someways dysfunctional before anyone got involved with anyone else in SL.
There are also cases of people getting involved with SL partners to the exclusion and alienation of their RL spouses. An August 10, 2007 article in the Wall Street Journal, "Is this Man Cheating on his Wife?", tells the story of one guy who has in effect traded his RL for his SL, spending full days on the computer in SL with his other wife, an SL partner. Andrew Vogel's response, in his blog Spunlogic, tells us:

According to family law experts and marital counselors, though, the Hoogestraats’ deteriorating marriage is not an isolated case. The article cites that an increasing number of marriages are crumbling because of “virtual infidelity.” This begs the question, if virtual marriages are causing real life marriage trouble, are the virtual marriages all that virtual?

And there is the crux of the issue. Secondlife isn't just a game anymore. There are real people and real feelings on the other side of that avatar. Just like you can pick up a one-night stand in a bar, you can pick one up in SL. And just like that one-time good time in RL can lead to something serious so can an SL relationship become serious. 

So what is the answer? Telling everyone--telling ourselves--"Hey! Don't do that!" Oh yeah, that'll work. Look. Let's face it. There is a huge divorce rate in this country. And why? Because Americans throw something out and get a new one when it doesn't work anymore. Here's a notion. Maybe the SL relationship can save the RL one that isn't working? Don't get enough sex at home? Have an affair or hire an escort in SL. No diseases, no mess, not expensive, not illegal. But don't expect a full time SL relationship AND a full time RL one. I'm not saying you can't have both--just that you have to be able to balance what you want with what you can realistically have. And be really sure, if you find you have to choose between the two, you are making the right choice--in full understanding of the effects of your choices on you, on the people in your real life, and on your SL lovers.

The day I changed my profile

So here we are. Nearly spring. Three months into 2009. I know some of you have wondered why I haven't been writing as much as I used to. The answer is both simple and complex. Real life has kept me busy, sure. But my chosen second life has kept me even busier. Fact of the matter is that for some time now I have been too busy in SL not only to blog about it, but also to do most of the things I have done in the past. For one thing, I am not dancing in clubs anymore, no more stripping, no more escort jobs . . . no clients at all. In fact most of the places I used to work, Perfect Droom, Lotus Moon, Blue Noise, are all long gone (long in SL is, after all, often a matter of weeks. not years) or they are so changed as to be unrecognizable.

What!? Does this mean you are no longer a courtesan? How can this be? I hear you asking.

It's not that I am not a courtesan . . . rather it is that all my skills, all my time, and all my heart are devoted to one man alone in all of SL. I am the personal companion, or concubine if you will, of Draven Sautereau. I am coming up on my second rez day in 2 months, and a month after that is the anniversary of when I met Draven. We've actually just passed the one year mark of our decision to be exclusive to each other in SL. I think it is about time I made it clear up front here in the blog, too.

So today I am commemorating that by changing my profile on this page. From now on the "About Me" section reflects the fact that only for Draven does my SL heart beat. Scary isn't it that you can find something so real in a place made only of fantasies?

Visiting Blackburne

I've been to the Firefly Bar in Blackburne again. I like this little town. Draven was there, too, and we danced a for a bit. The folks are real friendly and don't look down their noses at me as a whore for being a Companion, as happens on some worlds on the edge, nor do they get all deferential, as on planets in the inner systems. Pretty nice people all around. It may be that as a companion here closer to Sihnon, I am more respectable than I would be on some Rim worlds.

After dancing in the Firefly bar, I ran into and chatted with Cholgosh, a Blackburne Enforcer. We sat on the porch across from the bar and listened to the reports coming in from Hale's Moon of a Reaver attack and something about robots, War bots. Blackburne has had its own troubles with dangerous human-killing robots on the edges of the town, I was told.

I must find out more about this sector of space if we will be visiting here with any regularity. Aside from not wanting to step on any toes locally (at one point Cholgosh's partner, a spunky woman named Amyla turned up, and I hastily moved to give her the seat next to him so as not to give her any reason to thank I was "treading on the hem of her skirts"), I also need to know what dangers we may face while in this port. When the porch began to get crowded with folks wanting to ask the Enforcer about the news over the Cortex, I slipped away.

I ran into my brother Corwyn down on the street. Since he's the one who first told me about this moon, I asked him about its defenses. He pointed to big guns mounted on top of some of the buildings. There is a huge ship in dock, too, but he tells me it is a Firefly class vessel -- cargo ship, no guns -- and gave me a bit of a tour. I could tell this was a ship with some history. The pilot, whoever he was, had a toy dinosaur and a palm tree on his console. This felt like a ship that was lived in . . . and loved. But the bottom line is that it wouldn't be much help if Reavers attack, except maybe to get a few of Blackburne's inhabitants out of here fast.

Of Being Birds and Designing Dresses

So Draven has been designing again. He has a new dress series called "Dove." Dove came out of a conversation about a tag Jinara picked for herself in our group. See we sort of accidentally developed this bird name thing.

The bird tags came about because Draven's shop is called Bird of Prey, and back when he started building he made a tag for himself to go along with that: "Black Crow." This is appropriate in many ways for him--he always wears black, his SL name comes from the movie The Crow, and like the ravens that sat on Odin's shoulders he is always quietly observant, collecting information about the world around. He gave me the nickname "White Crane" because of the Decemberists song "The Crane Wife," which, he said, made him think of me. I liked that since my name, Tsai, means white or pale, and because the crane is a symbol in Asian folklore for wisdom, virtue, and longevity. One Japanese tradition also says if you fold 1000 origami cranes your wish will come true. That also seems right to me as I'd like to think I've made a lot of men's wishes come true (wink!) in my day.

When Wren joined us in SL (or maybe I should say when Draven turned her on to SL) she picked her bird name purposely to match her brother's; her tag is "Dark Bird," very appropriate for my lover's goth-chick little sister. My own sister, Jhai, joined us not long after and she picked the tag "Silent Swan" (she's had a thing for swans ever since Mom put a swan on the cake for her sixth birthday, though Jhai is anything but silent!).

Up to that point Jinara had just worn the standard member tag in our group: "Balance Seeker." In fact it was Jinara who started the group, so she was rather opposed at first to the "bird trend" as she called it. But then a couple months ago some of us were sitting around the table in the dining room, Jhai and Draven with coffee cups in their hands while I was sipping green tea, when in strolled Jinara wearing a tag that read: "Soiled Dove."

Jhai nearly snorted her coffee through her nose. "OMG!" she said to Jinara, "Do you have any idea what a 'soiled' dove is?"

"I dunno. A pigeon maybe?" Jinara mumbled, looking puzzled, "I just heard it somewhere and kinda liked it."

"Oh, my dear girl, you just labeled yourself as a 'lady of the evening'!" replied Jhai, who was still chuckling as she (ever the teacher) explained it to a mortified Jinara, and a highly amused Draven and I.

It seems that in the 18th and 19th centuries the term "soiled dove" was applied in particular to gentlewomen (doves) who had fallen from some higher social strata into prostitution (thus soiled) by a need to support themselves after having been wronged and/or deserted by men. In fact, in one famous speech called the soiled dove plea, an attorney in 1889 convinced an all-male jury to acquit a woman facing prostitution charges by arguing that women were not to be blamed, but that it was instead men who should take the blame for the prostitution into which some women are forced.

I thought it was pretty funny that Jinara, who has been a dancer and a stripper but never an escort, should label herself as one inadvertently; while I, who have taken pay for my "services," was labeled as a crane, a sign of purity. No wonder Jhai found it hilarious!

I could see Draven's wheels turning as Jhai told the story, and I was right. Pretty soon he had the dress all planned out. Imagine the girl headed west to find the lover who has gone off to war--but he is not to be found. Her once beautiful best dress is eventually worn to shreds as she runs out of money and hope, and finally, in desperation, she turns to a life of prostitution to feed herself.

Draven built the dress with multiple looks. There is the pure white version, the white underdress with a softly dove-colored overdress, and then he made the same dresses in torn, tattered, and soiled fabrics. Both also come in long and short skirt versions.


This is me wearing the pure white Dove, and below I am wearing it with the overdress while standing to the left of Jinara who is wearing the Soiled Dove overdress version.

Funny thing about that tag "Soiled Dove" is that despite its connotations, Jinara (who is still young enough to disapprove of selling sex, of the SL escort business, with all the moral certainty of youth) is the one still wearing it.

What's The Worse Job? Paid Sex Worker or Janitor?

Author Annalee Newitz of Alternet.org has a great column this week in which she points out that Spitzer Did Nothing Wrong by hiring an escort for sex. And it is hard to see what all the fuss is about when there are so many more pressing concerns in the world (war, homelessness, child abuse, domestic violence). You should read her column in full, but the key point she makes and with which I agree, is that this is a case of simple economics and our capitalist system . . .That and a sad case of ever rising puritanical sensibilities in this country.

Newitz notes that: "The reasons given are always the same: sex work is abusive to women (male prostitutes don't exist?), and being paid for sex is inherently degrading.
"Let's look inside one of those heavy economics books that I just beat you with and examine these assumptions for a minute, OK? Every possible kind of human act has been commodified and turned into a job under capitalism. That means people are legally paid to clean up one another's poop, paid to wash one another's naked bodies, paid to fry food all day, paid to work in toxic mines, paid to clean toilets, paid to wash and dress dead naked bodies, and paid to clean the brains off walls in crime scenes. My point is, you can earn money doing every possible degrading or disgusting thing on earth.
"And yet, most people don't think it's immoral to wipe somebody else's bum or to fry food all day, even though both jobs could truthfully be described as inherently degrading. They say, "Gee that's a tough job." And then they pay the people who do those jobs minimum wage.
The sex worker Spitzer visited, on the other hand, was paid handsomely for her tough job. The New York Times, in its mission to invade this woman's privacy (though in what one must suppose is a nonexploitative way), reported that she was a midrange worker at her agency who pulled in between $1000-$2000 per job. She wasn't working for minimum wage; she wasn't forced to inhale toxic fumes that would destroy her chances of having a nonmutant baby. She was being paid a middle-class salary to have sex. Sure, it might be an icky job, in the same way cleaning up barf in a hospital can be icky. But was she being economically exploited? Probably a hell of a lot less than the janitor in the hospital mopping up vomit and cleaning up after you.
"Sure, there are hookers who are exploited and who have miserable lives. There are people who are exploited and miserable in a lot of jobs. But the misery is circumstantial: not all hookers are exploited, just as not all hospital workers are exploited. It's basic labor economics, people.
"Audacia Ray, former sex worker and editor of the sex worker magazine $pread, has pointed out that the public doesn't even seem to understand what exploitation really means. The woman who did sex work for Spitzer has had her picture and personal history splattered all over the media in an incredibly insulting way. Nobody seems to realize she's being degraded far more now than she ever was when Spitzer was her client. And she's not getting any retirement savings out of it, either."

If you ask me, the real sin here is that more of our politicians ought to be having better (even if they have to pay for it) sex. If they were at least getting laid regularly maybe we all could be making love not war!

Meeting Mr. Wrong

Last night I got IMed by a fellow I have seen a couple times over the last few weeks. He's the kind of guy who likes to push buttons by saying outrageous things and seeing how a girl will react. So invariably he asks for sex. He also always makes sure to tell me that he never, ever pays for sex, that he doesn't even tip dancers, and that he is poor and doesn't "believe" in Lindens (SL money), whatever that means. Most of the girls at the club have given up on him as a cheapskate, but he's kind of cute, charming and witty even if outrageous, and he's fun to flirt with. So when he asked me to teleport him to my place for a blow job, I tp'ed him to Blue Noise instead. We danced and flirted. Somewhere during the course of the conversation he mentioned he is married in real life. This is not something that bothers me--married or not, it is between him and his wife what he does outside of their relationship. But then he wanted to know if I was married, single, or divorced. Why did that matter, I wondered?

Now, I've given him my perspective on marriage before: It's a great institution, but who wants to be in an institution! Personally I think marriage is good for the protection of children--a safe place to grow up with 2 parents. But if you don't have kids, what is the point of tying yourself down? Most of the time in marriage it is the woman whose freedom is limited by the expectations of society ("Good girls don't") while the man can come and go and play where he pleases ("Boys will be boys").

Think about this: can you come up with one positive word that describes a sexually active woman? No! They are all negative terms. Sexually active women are called sluts, whores, skanks, and tramps. Or we are described by our genitals: cunts, beaver, poon, pussies. The only "good" adjectives to describe women and sex together imply being asexual or having our sexuality controlled by men: maiden, virgin, wife. Even terms like mistress, concubine, paramour, have a negative flavor, indicating women engaged in sex with one man outside the bounds of matrimony. And, Ladies, if you dare to expect to be paid for sex you are a prostitute, no matter how you dress it up (escort, call girl, courtesan). Now try to think of a negative term for a sexually active man--there are none. Men are studs, stallions, or players. Their sexuallity is applauded!

So maybe I shouldn't have been surprised when my friend last night said he'd be uncomfortable with his RL wife having virtual sex in SL, and yet felt fine about chasing SL "tail" himself. Later he qualified that by saying that only casual SL sex was okay, it isn't cheating since it is all a fantasy. I pointed out that there are real people here, the only thing that is a fantasy is the setting. But he was adamant. Casual fuck? Okay. Get emotionally involved in SL? That would be "an affair," thus not acceptible. He seemed pretty pleased that I wasn't looking for a relationship or marriage--that put me in the "non-affair just a fuck" category, I guess.

That was the point at which I dropped to my knees and started to give him a virtual blow job--but he stopped me. His comment was: "Oh, you are one of those!" Now what? Was he having second thoughts about "cheating"? He wanted sex? He didn't want sex? Seems he wanted to be in charge. Its okay to try to seduce a woman and talk her into sex, but if she initiates it. . . . Here's the problem. Our society doesn't expect women to be sexually active or (heaven forfend!) sexually aggressive. Despite the sexual revolution of the 1960s-70s and the ground-breaking work of researchers like Kinsey, there is still an inherently parochial, even puritan attitude about female sexuality in America. And apparently in this fellow, too. Even in SL.

Shaking Booty at Blue Noise

So it's Saturday night and I am back shaking it in Blue Noise. The best thing about this club is really the people who work here. First there is Rhi, who manages the place, she's gorgeous and witty and has the fellows lining up. Then there are Kat, Roj, Doc, and Nerdi, who host the club's many and various contests. Among the female dancers there is me, of course, and Cordy, Sky, Bobbi, Savannah, Lucy, Harley, Envy, Jinara, Zoya, Sandrene, Lucy, Sandra, and many more. Some of these dancers double as escorts as well and can show you the fun places in Blue Noise's Sister Club, Blue Noise Hideaway. There are male dancers, too, including Jamien, Jara, Konstantine, and Nerdi, as well as several others. The DJs: MC, Patrick, Clinton, and the Radio Trauma gang, are wonderful, and love to take requests.

But the best thing about Blue Noise is that there is a camaraderie among the dancers, escorts, and the staff that is dynamic. On any given night there may be a only few, to a handful, to a crowd of patrons in BN, all having fun on the floor. You might be stalked by a sassy Aussie, or offered a Tesla coil by a savvy fox, or invited by a hot west coast lesbian to join a conga line and strip. Unlike other clubs where there are price guidelines for clothing coming off, the BN bunch is always ready to get naked--usually this is encouraged by one particular bad boy dancer who will challenge the ladies to match him clothing piece by clothing piece. By the end of any night you will find half the patrons naked as well! Expect an offer to go home with our favorite stripper fella to try out his latest set of orgy balls.

On costume contest nights you might find a mermaid in the pool, a sexy dragon on the dance floor, or a hot dancer in fairy wings who has more particle machines than most of SL. Then there's the schoolgirl types,: one in bobbysocks who will stun you with her athletic abilities and another in pink pigtails who can tease a man to orgasm in IM without ever leaving the dancepole. The conversation can ranges from surfing to Shakespeare, from London to Lisbon to L.A., from fav TV shows, to particle physics, to Preraphaelite art, to sexual techniques. A little something for everyone, and never boring.

If you are a Blue Noise VIP you probably know who all I am talking about here, if you are not . . . well c'mon up and see me sometime and I'll introduce you around. . . .

The Business of Online Sex: Stirring Things Up

I've been cruising the archives of my favorite Wired (yes, I am a geek!) column, "Sex Drive" a commentary by Regina Lynn, and found this tidbit in a July post, "The Business of Pleasure Is Booming, Thanks to Online Communities," for your consideration. Lynn, in discussing the sales of adult products, notes that:

Everyone who has ventured into online communities to talk sex contributes to a cultural shift away from sexual embarrassment and shame. You might not see it yet, especially if you work as a sex educator and you cringe at the stereotypes and misinformation so prevalent in our mass media.

But it's happening. In tiny, incremental steps, one by one, people are casting off the fetters (or putting on the fetters, depending) of yesteryear, when everyone still did everything we do now, but in shameful secrecy. Engaging in sex talk with others breaks down inhibitions that once kept us from acknowledging, much less expressing, our sexual needs. We might not know the ins and outs of every aspect of sexuality, but after a few months of online practice, we're less afraid to ask.

Even if you have never chatted online about sex, you know someone who has. At the very least, one person in your circle has flirted in e-mail while dating online. These folks bring a new openness into--if they've participated in adult communities online for more than six months, they almost can't help it.

This is an interesting observation that, I believe barely scratches the surface of what online communities like SL can do for your sex life. There are two main reasons to indulge in an active online fantasy sex life: first, to revive waning sexual desire; and second, because it is safe.

Experts have said for years that sexuality and the sex drive is one of those "use it or lose it" things, but as we get older or as our lives get busier we often don't take the time to indulge in romance and fantasy the way we used to do. In "Whither Desire" on the AARP website, we are told that "low libido has more to do with boredom than the changing body," and Sandra R. Leiblum, Ph.D., director of the Center for Sexual and Relationship Health at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey suggests that:

One solution is to find courage to step outside the sexual safe zone. “Women have to be willing to try things they haven’t before—a new place, a new sexual script,” says Leiblum, who is also the coauthor of Getting the Sex You Want (ASJA Press, 2003). The anxiety this creates can be erotic in itself. “What is arousing is the nervous excitement and mystery you feel when you don’t know what quite to expect,” she says.

In the same Article, Esther Perel, a New York City marriage and family therapist and author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence says that she:

. . . counsels people to seek out novelty. “I’ll tell a woman, ‘In the next two weeks I’d like you to approach him once in a way you’ve never done before,’ ” she says. “ ‘Think of a time when you were particularly sexually daring, and imagine yourself bringing some of that assertiveness to him. Go to a clothing store and don’t buy what you’re used to buying—get something that brings out a whole other side of you.’ ”

Here is where online role-playing can help. The act of creating a beautiful and sexually active avatar will boost your confidence and body image and give you a mask behind which to operate, with that you can feel free to indulge in online flirtation and even mutual masturbation with an online partner--an experience which, I can tell you, can be very sexually liberating. How better to revive a flagging sexual appetite than with a safe sexual act (no disease) in a safe online environment (no real life information exchanged).

And that leads me to point number two: safe sex environments. Of course it is best to work to reawaken sexual desire with your life partner, but that presupposes that: 1) you have a regular sex partner, 2) your partner wants to have sex, and 3) that you are comfortable trying out those daring moves on a live person and risking rejection.

Anyone who has wandered in SL knows that there are all kinds of opportunities for sexual indulgence. Voyeur? Wander in the free sex areas and watch to your heart's content. Just want to flirt and meet people and see what develops? Cruise the clubs and make a move! Like to try something different? Check out a good escort service (I, of course, recommend Purrfect Droom) and discuss your desires with a variety of escorts.

The advantage of online romance is that it is always far easier to be daring in a place where no one knows your real name, where you can stir up your own libido with a little help from your friends, where there is no possibility of sexually transmitted disease, and where you can add to your sexual repertoire for later use with real life partners. I bet your real partners will enjoy your new found confidence and daring moves. Breaking down the sexual inhibitions we all have will revive our sexuality and the benefits of an active fantasy and sex life are immeasurable. C'mon, give it a try. . . .

Courtesan's Sex Tip of the Month: Sharing a Fantasy

Thinking about sex is almost as much fun as doing it. So brush the cobwebs out of the brain by building fantasies in your mind and then stir up your partner's libido by sharing them. This tip comes from the pages of Cosmo:

"Whisper a naughty story in his ear. Think about sexy taboo situations that you'd never act out. . . and be prepared to give the details. Just helping him to imagine stepping outside his comfort zone can get his adrenaline racing, Maybe the story involves letting him watch you pleasure yourself. You can even push the erotic envelope further by introducing some light bondage and tying his hands to the bed. Don't worry about whether he can escape--the idea of being held captive is thrilling enough."

This kind of fantasy sharing is tailor made for SL. Most guys love to be told your deepest fantasies, so go ahead and share. The more risque the better. And, fellas, this is a two way street. Tell your girl your fantasy and I bet you get her adrenaline going too! Sexy man telling me his deepest desires? I know that works for me!

Virtual Worlds as Fodder for the Boob Tube

For those of you used to my usual romantic blogging, brace yourselves . . . this isn't that. Because I am pissed.

A couple days ago Law & Order: SVU aired an episode called "Avatar." In this one Second Life or something a lot like it--it's called AU, Alternate Universe--is the tool used in a rape-murder. Although the interface looks like a strange cross between SL and Facebook (watch out all you Internet social networks, you're next) and is clearly not SL to anyone who knows SL or Linden Labs, the episode was disturbing in the way it implicates a virtual world as a breeding ground for criminal behaviors.

The difficulty with this episode is not the storyline itself: a young woman is kidnapped from her home by a lunatic who stalked her in the virtual world first and chose her there to be his RL victim. Nor is it the obvious distaste the police have for the idea of virtual worlds, since they gain a grudging respect for the Lab that runs the AU world and which is instrumental in the crime solving. The difficulty is the way this virtual world is portrayed and how all the residents there are seemingly sex-starved pedophiles.

We start with an unprosecutable rape perpetrated on the sister of a kidnapping victim by the boyfriend of the victim (as if even people who hang out with people who hang out in virtual worlds must be sexual predators). Then we discover that the kidnapped victim has created an underage stripper/escort avatar who runs a virtual club of underage avatars for pedophile avatars to ogle and abuse (never mind that the company who manages this virtual world has confirmed no one under 18 can play in their virtual reality). Then through a series of false names and credit card fraud we find a whole string of unsavory characters who hang in the virual world primarily to exploit sweet young things sexually, but also to bilk each other financially. Ultimately we discover that the real kidnapper/rapist is in the virtual world to reenact his prior (for which he has done time) unresolved crime of pedophilia and that the avatar of his latest victim looks just like his earlier RL child victim. Are you confused yet? I was.

The thing that bothered me was not that this plot had more twists than a bag of pretzels, but that the farther we go into it the worse the residents of the virtual world looked and a lot of that did nothing really to further the plot of the episode. Perhaps I woud be less upset if it were not for a flurry of concern from well-meaning family and friends who saw the show suggesting (along with a couple of "I told you so" remarks) it was time to give up my SL nonsense.

Dear Family and Friends, what gets forgotton here is that:

1) This was a TV show. Fiction! Sensationalist fiction at that, which bears little resemblance to SL which (hello!) bans anyone even pretending to engage in sex with a child or child porn.

3) You can be sure that I (like everyone else in SL) am over 21, have common sense, and have been (like you) capable of dealing with the threat of potential crime or ciminals in the "Read World" for years. SL is no different. In fact, the idea that numbers of criminals are likely to take time out to of their busy mafioso schedules to play at pretend crime and hunt me down seems a bit ludicrous now doesn't it?

2) Not everyone in SL is sex-crazed. Trust me on this. I have met men even I can't seduce. And the ones I do hang out regularly with in SL are educated, intelligent, classy men--I know this because class is not somethng you can . The guys who do come across as crude--the "Yo, bitch wanna fuck" types--are easily spotted and avoided. And anyway, asking for sex doesn't make you a criminal in the RL either, it usually just gets you slapped.

What is a problem is the hundreds of viewers who, not knowing thing one about SL, will immediately file it in their brains as "that game" that breeds perverts and pedophiles.

Of course the ones who think that are likely the same people who believe WWF is a real sport and that The Bachelor is real romance, too.

Going Clubbing

So it is Saturday night and you are bored with the same old clubs. Want to try something new?

Here is a short list of my favorite cool SL places to go and hang out:

Blue Noise: you will be greeted at the gate by the jackel-headed god Anubis in this Ancient Egyptian-themed club managed by the lovely Rhiannon. Watch beautiful female and male dancers strip, play the sploder, compete in "best of" contests for cash prizes, soak and get your back washed in the dance floor spa, make song requests of the DJs, or ask for the VIP treatment from one of the lovely and talented escorts.

Lotus Moon: An Asian-themed club/casino owned by Partial and Lisette. Great dancers, contests, camping pads, a sploder, and a cash giveaway that throws out random dollars to anyone in the club. Check out the special locations upstairs where you can get a private dance from one of the dancers or escorts.

Mystic's Cabaret Gentleman's Club: Best thing about Mystic's place are the contests. Every night is something new with cash prizes. Also lots of slow and sexy dance balls. Lots of pretty dancers, a sploder and dancing camping pads as well.

Ally B's: Not only does Ally offer all the amenities of the usual nightclubs at her Egyptian decor club, but Tuesdays are for Ladies Only! With an all male dancer lineup of studly guys! Not to be missed! Also has BDSM rooms for those so inclined.