You were afraid...

Song du Jour: "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon

Have you ever loved more han one woman? Or more than one man?

Chanson de la Semaine: "It Can't Rain All The Time" by Jane Siberry

When I'm lonely
I lie awake at night
and I wish you were here
I miss you
Can you tell me
Is there something more to believe in?
Or is this all there is?

. . . It's so hard to believe that
love will prevail.

Here's Wishing You all a Happy New Year filled with Love

2007 brought me into Second Life, and gave me a lot of wonderful new friends. 2008 will be my second year in SL, and I look forward to many more wonderful days with the friends and family I have in both my real and second lives.

So to all of those who have become dear to me: Rhiannon, Patrick, Insightis, Amanda, Bobby, Bes, Adair, Krew, Rojelio, Jamesen, Corwyn and Emerisella, Grim and Mari, Varuk, Doc, Woody, Karra, Katieh, Baron, Calv, Bastion, Maggy, Xanna, Partial, Crazy, Elanna and Macho, Jamien, Jara, Cat and Star, MC2U, Nhoj, Jeanine and Jane, Nerdi, Nixon and Serenity, Justinfra, Jordan, Starman, BigE, Burke, Callie, Ryker, Trinity, Raza, Stella, Anatol, Kilroy, Roy, Malcolm, Jinara, Dabrin, Jhai, and Draven . . . and to all of you I have met and hope to meet again in the coming year . . .

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

T'is the Season to Shop 'Till you Drop

It is true, we are a consumer culture. Face it, we spend millions on bling here in the USA around this time of the year and billions more on marketing that bling. According to an article on CNN.com/technology, "In the first two weeks of November alone, the company that created Second Life says there were almost 3 million digital objects sold on its site, though it's not possible to tell which of those were given as gifts." Second Life itself is nothing if not the ultimate expression of our very consumer culture. After all there is nowhere you can go in SL that you don't run into a mall or atleast some advertising. But is there anything wrong with giving your virtual boyfriend or girlfriend, your whole virtual family of friends a little something at this time of year?

Cynics say virtual gifts have no meaning. No substance. You can't really wear or use or touch them. the same CNN article also tells us: "Others call virtual gifts a waste of money -- a way of "pouring millions down the virtual drain," says Michael Bugeja, the director of Iowa State University's journalism school. He's been a vocal critic of the resources universities and students are dedicating to virtual worlds. This holiday season, he's challenging people to give money they planned to spend on virtual gifts to charity instead."

The response to that perspective is: "'It's easy to get caught up in thinking that it's not real because it's digital. But we have plenty of digital items that have value,' says Jeska Dzwigalski, who works in community and product development for Linden Lab, the creators of Second Life. 'Have you ever bought a song on iTunes? Have you ever paid for software?'"

The whole argument--is it okay? is it a waste of time? a waste of money?--seems rather spurious to me. We are trained from childhood to think of giving gifts to others at certain times of the year. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. If you don't send gifts on those occasions, you get labeled as a scrooge or a curmudgeon. But think about this: how often have you gotten a gift that is totally useless and sits in a drawer or a closet until you finally ship it off to Goodwill or sell it on eBay or just throw it in the trash? (My RL mother is addicted to Home Shopping Network and infomercials--I have 3 Eurosealers I will never use in a kitchen closet right now.) Isn't it far better to get an inexpensive virtual item for your virtual life that you will actually use instead of a useless item for your real life for which you are supposed to be appropriately grateful?

Here's my take on it. Say I get a fancy dress or toy or household item in SL from a friend or an admirer. Say it costs L700 (we are talking Lindens here, virtual money, so the equivalent in US dollars is $2.94). For less than the price of a large cappuchino my friend has given me hours of pleasure. Unlike a cup of coffee, I can use this virtual item again and again, and each time I wear it I will think of the friend who gave it to me. I'd say that is really what the giving of gifts is all about--the thought put into picking something of value to the person you wish to gift, the connection made, and the fond memories that are evoked every time that gift is used.

But there is an even larger upside to the virtual gift. No waste! The box or package you wrap it in does not end up in a landfill. You have not spent or wasted huge amounts of real cash. And the best part is you aren't broke or paying off huge credit card debt come January. And here's another thought: some of the money you save by buying small inexpensive gifts inworld rather than pricey useless RL ones can be spent on good causes. Bugeja has part of it right, we all should think of giving to charities. And, although we should be doing it more often than just at the holidays, this is the right time to get that last minute tax break, too.

So here is my plan for this holiday season: shop inworld for your friends and family who play in virtual games. Encourage them to shop inworld in SL for you, too. Give smaller gifts to those who are not inworld, but make it gift cards or cash so they can get something they really want. Then take a chunk of the money you've saved and give it to charity. My list for holiday giving includes: Public Broadcasting, the Sierra Club, UNICEF, the Girl Scouts, the World Wildlife Fund, and National Public Radio. Maybe I'll also finally clean out those closets and get all that stuff I don't need to Goodwill, too.

Friday's Song: "It Won't Rain All the Time" by Jane Silberry

We walked the narrow path,
beneath the smoking skies.
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
between darkness and light.
Do you have faith
in what we believe?
The truest test is when we cannot,
when we cannot see. . . .

. . . Oh, when I'm lonely,
I lie awake at night
and I wish you were here.
I miss you.
Can you tell me
is there something more to believe in?
Or is this all there is?

. . . Last night I had a dream.
You came into my room,
you took me into your arms,
whispering and kissing me,
and telling me to still believe--
but then the emptiness of a burning sea
against which we sail
our darkest of sadnesses--
until I felt safe and warm.
I fell asleep in your arms.

When I awoke I cried again for you were gone.
Oh, can you hear me?

Canción Para Hoy: "Bilingual" by Jose Nunez

Just a heads up. . . the lyrics to this song are very graphic. I love them because they make me hot. If you are easily offended by raw sexuality, read no further (and BTW if you are easily offended, what the hell are you doing reading my blog?)



The only aphrodisiac I need is your voice
Hearing you speak my name
Beckoning me to answer
Telling me you want me
So I tell you that you're the answer to every question I've ever had about love
Without words I use my tongue to tell the tale of us
Tracing your shadowscape
Kneeling before you my eyes feast upon your masculinity and
All its divinity and I praise you
Because all of that is for me
I begin to indulge myself of your delicacies
Digesting semi-sweet dark chocolate decadence as it melts
Dripping down my chin
Your taste is something Godiva couldn't re-create
Needing every atom of your anatomy
Necessity is placed upon me knowing you are the source of my serendipity
Dipping in and out of me stroking more than my consciesness
Subconsciously I find myself rewinding our love scenes
In my daydreams
Seeing that face you make when you're making me cum
And it makes me want you right there and then
Thinking of you in inappropriate places I get
Tingling sensations in private locations where
I wish to be caught between a rock and your hard place
As wetness develops my legs begin to open and my spot turns to a backdraft and all
I want you to do is extinguish it
You know my body like the back of your hands
And touch me and send me into ecstacy
My thighs quiver in anticipation of deep penetration which gets me high
Body rising
Sweating
Panting
Make-up melting
Pulling my hair and
Scratching my back
I get a temporary case of tourettes because all
I can say are four letter words in a four octave-range screaming your name
[Spanish]
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
I see your tongue pink between your lips and I want it between mine
And I struggle
As you lick torturing me
I try to get away but
Not really
Running out of room begging for more
Up against the wall that has been scuffed by my stilletos
Again
You pry apart my thighs and tell me to be still
And I willingly submit to you because I love the way you dominate me
Demanding that I cum for you so I do as I'm told
You've molded me so I'm good to no-one else but you
You've conquered this once orgasmicless world and multiplied it
Again and
Again
My face radiates with after-glow
My pillow scented by you
A fragrance which haunts me
My room smells of the best sex
I
Covered in body prints and finger prints and you above me
Your name written indelibly upon my body in your genetic history
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual

Quote: Eros or Sex?

Sex can be defined fairly adequately in physiological terms as consisting of the building up of bodily tensions and their release. Eros, in contrast, is the experiencing of the personal intentions and meaning of the act. Whereas sex is a rhythm of stimulus and response, eros is a state of being. The pleasure of sex is described by Freud and others as the reduction of tension; in eros, on the contrary, we wish not to be released from the excitement but rather to hang on to it, to bask in it, and even to increase it. The end toward which sex points is gratification and relaxation, whereas eros is a desiring, longing, a forever reaching out, seeking to expand." Rollo May, U.S. psychoanalyst, from his book Love and Will

Sunday Song: Nightwish "I Wish I Had an Angel"

Nightwish is a Finnish heavy metal/rock band with operatic and classical overtones. I only recently fell in love with their music, not just because of its eclectic qualities, but also for the dark beauty of these lyrics that speak of danger and desire on a muliplicity of levels.

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angelwings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight...

Last dance, first kiss
Your touch my bliss
Beauty always comes with dark thoughts...."

Nighwish's lyrics are rich with religious, gothic, Tolkeinesque, and mythologic imagery. The videos are darkly compelling, often coldly graphic with a chiaroscuro lighting that makes them starkly beautiful. All in all Nightwish is reminiscent of the poetry of Baudelaire, the erotica of Anais Nin, and the cinema of Bergman. If you want to hear more of them see my YouTube playlist. Or email me and I'll send you my favorite songs.

Hot Sex Trends Worth Trying: Fulfill a Phone Fantasy

From the pages of Cosmo Magazine online comes this tidbit of advice that may be well worth applying to your love life in SL. . . .

Hot Sex Trends Worth Trying: Fulfill a Phone Fantasy

These days everyone and their dog has a cell phone. Okay, maybe not everyone. More like 156.6 million Americans over the age of 12, according to the global market-research group GfK NOP. But how is our main mode of communication impacting our sex lives? Turns out, it's making couples more courageous. "Interacting via technology rather than face-to-face provides an anonymity that often makes it easier for partners to express their desires," explains Lisa B. Schwartz, Ph.D., a sex therapist in private practice in Pennsylvania. "More couples seem to be exploring this freedom and sharing fantasies this way."
If the thought of partaking in phone play leaves you kind of speechless, this passion plan will loosen you up. First thing in the morning, lock your guy in for the evening with a firm text message. (Cancel your plans. U R mine 2nite.) At noon, divulge more of your pleasure plot in a second text (My place. 8. Bring a necktie and whipped cream).
When he shows up at 7:25 (the man will be eager, girl), grab the props, make him comfortable on the sofa and quickly retreat to another room. Then dial him up on his cell from behind closed doors and tell him step-by-step exactly what you wish you were doing to him ("I want to tie you to my bedpost and lick whipped cream off every last inch of you"). Keep up the delicious banter until he has no choice but to hang up and barge right in.



Now how to translate that to SL? For one thing, before you even hit the virtual bedroom start in IMs telling him what you want to do to him when you see him. Just as the Cosmo Tip suggested build the anticipation for him.

Let's face it, SL is basically phone sex when you use voice. Use the private call feature in SL voice. Your sim doesn't have voice enabled, you say? NP! Get your partner to load Gtalk, or AIM, Yahoo Messenger or any other voice capable chat program that both of you can run. Then run your voice conversation separate from your SL role play. In fact the connection is often cleaner and clearer through a chat program than in SL voice.

Why add this dimension of sound? Believe me when I say it is an incredible turn on to hear your partner's pleasure. No more typing of an emote (/me moans softly)--just do it! Hearing your partner's voice can help you gauge his responses better, too. Is he quiet, not saying much? Take a different tactic. Move from vaginal to oral sex talk. Is he saying "yes, oh god, yes!" in that I-am-going-to-explode tone of voice as you tell him what you are doing to him? Then you are heading in the right direction. Voice adds a whole new sensation to SL sex. Give it a listen!

Chanson de la nuit: "All out of Love" by Air Supply

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know...

An On the Road Song for D.

Heard this song today and thought of a special man, who is on the road this week with a band... Turn the Page by Bob Seger



On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha.
You can listen to the engine moaning out its one lone song
You can think about woman, or the girl you knew the night before,
But your thoughts will soon be wandering, the way they always do.
When your riding sixteen hours and theres nothing much to do
And you don't feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through.
Say, here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page.

Travel Safe, Love.

Song du Jour: I Wish it Would Rain by Phil Collins

I Wish it Would Rain by Phil Collins
Here's the song for today. . .
. . . I never meant to cause you no pain, but it looks like I did it again . . . .
Enjoy.