Famous Courtesans of History: Lalage of Rome

Homer mentioned her in an ode, saying:

"That smile so sweet, that voice so sweet,
Shall still enchant me."

Kipling dedicated an entire poem to her power over men:

It’s twenty-five marches to Narbo,

It’s forty-five more up the Rhone,

And the end may be death in the heather

Or life on an Emperor’s throne.

But whether the Eagles obey us,

Or we go to the Ravens—alone,

I’d sooner be Lalage’s lover

Than sit on an Emperor’s throne!

But who was she? Legend has it that Lalage was a courtesan of ancient Rome, a woman of beauty, wit, charm, and power in a patriarchal society. But if truth be told, no one really knows if there was a woman such as Kipling's Lalage. We do know that the ancient Greeks had a class of courtesans called hetairae, women who were not just prostitutes or ordinary paid sex workers, but rather educated and highly intellectual, and invariably foreign, women. We also know that the hetaira of Greece and Syria eventually became the meretrices of Rome. What were these women and why were they better than ordinary prostitutes?

In his Dialogues of the Courtesans, Lucian (second century AD) relates an exchange between two friends about a successful courtesan: "In the first place, she dresses attractively and looks neat; she's gay with all the men, without being so ready to cackle as you are, but smiles in a sweet bewitching way; later on, she's very clever when they're together, never cheats a visitor or an escort, and never throws herself at the men. If ever she takes a fee for going out to dinner, she doesn't drink too much--that's ridiculous, and men hate women who do--she doesn't gorge herself--that's ill-bred, my dear--but picks up the food with her finger-tips, eating quietly and not stuffing both cheeks full, and, when she drinks, she doesn't gulp, but sips slowly from time to time. . . . Also, she doesn't talk too much or make fun of any of the company, and has eyes only for her customer. These are the things that make her popular with the men. Again, when it's time for bed, she'll never do anything coarse or slovenly, but her only aim is to attract the man and make him love her; these are the things they all praise in her."

Rome made a fine art of licensed prostitution all the way up through the Renaissance. Influenced by the hetairea brought back to the city from wars, class divisions arose among the various women engaged in prostitution. According to Marcellus, "This is the difference between a meretrix [courtesan] and a prostibula [ a common streetwalker]: a meretrix is of a more honorable station and calling; for meretrices are so named a merendo (from earning wages) because they plied their calling only by night; prostibulu because they stand before the stabulum (stall) for gain both by day and night."

The courtesans of ancient Rome were real and many. Roman men turned to their slave women for basic sexual gratification, to wives to provide them with children, but it was to the courtesans, the foreign hetairea to whom they turned for comfort, companionship and, indeed, for romance. These women may have held more power through their patrons than even the matrons of Rome. And whether or not one of them named Lalage was a vision in the heart of the ordinary Roman soldier as Kipling's beautiful poem claims, there is no doubt that her trade was a thriving one with over 40 different terms for the registration of prostitution in Rome alone.

The name Lalage literally means to talk, and likely--if there was a real Lalage--it was for her mind and her conversation she was beloved, not just for her body. That, gentlemen, is all the difference between a courtesan and a prostitute.

A Song for a Tuesday: "Glory of Love"

'Cause every girl needs a knight in shining armor who will look out for her...

A Lazy Happy Birthday

Today is my Birthday! I was born in the year of the Dragon, the month of Capricorn. That makes me assertive and outspoken, obsessively organized, with the desire to always be in control. Having both earth and water in my signs I also have a deep desire to give pleasure to others. . . . (Hmmm. That may explain my Second Life in a nutshell!)

So what makes for an ideal birthday for me? I'd like to lounge around, maybe reading a good book (the Kamasutra? the Tao of Love & Sex?), or maybe cuddling with a lover. Later tonight maybe some dancing and flirting at Blue Noise or Lotus Moon, my two favorite clubs. Speaking of lovers, the red pavillion above was a gift from a lover, as was the lovely jewelry from the Isle of Mists in the picture below.

Here are some fun facts I just recently discovered. I was born on a Sunday (do you know the children's rhyme about days of the week?) which means I am both happy and very social (duh!). I was born in the Egyptian month of Famenoth, the third month of the season of Poret (the Emergence month of the Fertile Soil season). On the day I was born the moon was waxing gibbous or almost but not quite full--easily seen in the daytime and shining brightly at night (much like me). My ruling planet is Saturn (the only planet with rings. . . Yeah! Bling!)

For a whole bunch of fun facts about your own birthday check Paul Sadowski's Birthday Calculator! And, hey! . . . if you happen to be in-world tonight, look me up for a birthday kiss!

Sunday Song: Nightwish "I Wish I Had an Angel"

Nightwish is a Finnish heavy metal/rock band with operatic and classical overtones. I only recently fell in love with their music, not just because of its eclectic qualities, but also for the dark beauty of these lyrics that speak of danger and desire on a muliplicity of levels.

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angelwings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight...

Last dance, first kiss
Your touch my bliss
Beauty always comes with dark thoughts...."

Nighwish's lyrics are rich with religious, gothic, Tolkeinesque, and mythologic imagery. The videos are darkly compelling, often coldly graphic with a chiaroscuro lighting that makes them starkly beautiful. All in all Nightwish is reminiscent of the poetry of Baudelaire, the erotica of Anais Nin, and the cinema of Bergman. If you want to hear more of them see my YouTube playlist. Or email me and I'll send you my favorite songs.

What Would Coyote Do

For those of you who don't know about Coyote, He is the native American version of Loki--a trickster deity enjoys life to the fullest. (You want to know more about Coyote? Read the novels of Charles De Lint, seriously.) In the meantime, however, you should also check out Cadhla's take on him in http://www.livejournal.com/users/cadhla.

What follows is Cadhla's version of Coyote's 10 commandments. All I gotta say is: Well done!
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Why Coyote Doesn't Give Commandments. by Cadhla

A friend of mine was talking the other day about God talking to Moses on the mountain, and handing down the commandments, and everything. Which led to the point that my patron deity doesn't really do commandments. "Well, why not?" was asked. "Um. Can you see Coyote giving commandments?" I replied...but of course, the damage was done, and I had to think about this now. Because that would be the way that my brain works, whether I want it to or not. Stupid brain. And now, after several days of thinking about it, I give you...

The Commandments of Coyote.

I. Thou Shalt Have As Many Gods and Spirits and Personal Trainers and Gurus As You Like Before Me, But You Shalt Not Let Them Block the Exits, and More, You Shall Not Permit Them To Take the Last Beer, For That Beer Is Mine. Seriously. Don't.

II. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife, But Thou Art Totally Welcome To Admire Her Ass When She Walks By, and If It Happens To Come Out That They Are In An Open Relationship, Dude, Tap That Ass As Much As They Are Willing To Allow. Same Goes For the Ladies. Coveting Is Sort Of Stupid, But Sex Is Just Plain Fun, Unless Thou Art Doing It Entirely Wrong.

III. If Thy Neighbor Says 'Hands Off My Wife, Dude', Thou Shalt Listen and Back Off, Because Otherwise, Thy Neighbor Will Be Totally Justified In Hitting You About the Head and Shoulders With Gardening Tools, and Don't Think That I'm Going To Step In There and Stop Him.

IV. Adultery Is Actually Pretty Fun. Commit It All You Like. Just Make Sure Everyone Is Cool With It, Or I Will Not Help You Out Once the Hitting Gets Started.

V. Thou Shalt Not Eat Poisoned Bait. If You Do, Don't Come Whining To Me About It, Because I Am Very Unlikely To Care. Once It Is In Your Mouth, It Is Your Problem, Not Mine.

VI. Of Course Thou Shalt Kill. Carnivores Do That. Also, Swatting Mosquitoes, Sort Of Instinctive. But All Creatures Are Alive Before You Kill Them, and So Thou Shalt Respect Them In Their Lives and In Their Deaths. Thou Shalt Not Kill Without Reason. Thy Neighbor Tapping Thy Wife's Ass? Is Not A Reason. Don't Make Me Set A Plague Upon Thy Ass. Thou Wouldst Not Enjoy It, I Promise.

VII. Thou Shalt Not Hoard. Seriously, Here. If You Have Enough, Share. Only Asshats Bogart Life.

VIII. Thou Shalt Not Be A Martyr. If You Have One Beer, Drink It. Do Not Give It To Me and Then Expect Adoration. Dude, That Was Your Beer, I Did Not Break Your Arm To Get It. Give What You Can Give, and Expect Neither Praise Nor Worship. You Are Not Being Morally Superior, You Are Being A Decent Human Being. There Is A Difference.

VIV. Assume This Is It. Maybe There Is Reincarnation; Maybe Not. Not Only Am I Not Saying, Please Consider the Fact That I Probably Get A Say In Whether You Come Back, and If You Are the Sort Of Person Who Doesn't Do Anything With One Life, Why Should I Waste My Time Giving You Another One? Live Like You Get No Second Chances. You Will Have More Fun.

X. Are You Going To Eat That?
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@ Seanan (cadhla) 2005-08-30 cadhla's LiveJournal:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/cadhla/827233.html
(A Free-Linking Zone, by her own words)
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