She Comes First: Oral Sex Tips for Men

The article below, "She Comes First," was posted on AskMen.Com as part of their guest authors weekly features. I stumbled across it this morning and decided it was worth sharing with all you Second Life Lovers who may be wondering how to describe your oral sex technique to your girl, or how to tell your guy what you want. I can say from experience that any man who can do this, in real or virtual sex, is worth hanging on to. Just reading this made me hot, made me think about the men I love, and got my juices flowing. <wink> So read on, gentlemen, and be sure to use these tips next time you go down on your lady whether in SL or in RL.

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In this excerpt from She Comes First, author Ian Kerner stresses the importance of the first few touches when it comes to pleasing your lady, and how a good "first impression" will dictate how the rest of the oral sex session goes.

The approach
Never underestimate the power of first impressions, especially the impression of your lips against her vulva. This first kiss atop a woman's vulva is often the most exquisite of all possible kisses and can literally take her breath away.Approach the first kiss as an event, as though tasting the first sip of an expensive bottle of wine that you've been saving for that special occasion. Don't just pop off the cork and start swigging: Let it breathe, sniff and savor the bouquet, admire the body, note the complexion and tone, and then, finally, take that much-anticipated first sip. Allow yourself to appreciate the full experience.

Run your fingers gently through her pubic hair.

Be sure to tease her amply. Kiss her softly on the inner thigh, as well as the smooth skin adjoining her vulva. Kiss her with little, succulent smacks (lips pursed, no tongue) on her inner and outer lips, or even on the top of the head. Make sure that your first kiss is less about direct contact with the clitoris and more about appreciating the entire genital area.
Breathe hotly on her vulva.

Blow, ever so gently, on her clitoral head.

If she's still wearing her panties, kiss her through them. Then delicately peel them to the side to reveal the glistening wet vulva.
Caution: Never, under any circumstances, blow into a woman's vagina as though trying to fill it with air. Doing so is seriously dangerous. Blowing into a woman's vagina may cause an embolism and lead to death. Breathe on her; blow lightly on her; never blow into her.

The moment before
Before you move in for the first kiss, take a moment to acknowledge the presence of the vulva: your partner in pleasure. Prepare yourself mentally for the experience ahead. Remind yourself that you are there to lead her steadfastly through the process of sexual response to orgasm.

And now it's time for the kiss...

This is a great time to remind her of the Three Assurances:

• Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does.
• There's no rush; she has all the time in the world. You want to savor every moment.
• Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: It all emanates from the same beautiful essence.

Like a guest arriving at a much-anticipated dinner party, let your hostess know how excited you are to be there, how beautiful she looks, and how much you're looking forward to the meal ahead. Put her at ease.Tease her, taunt her, tantalize--make her think she's not ever going to get it, ever, and then, just when she's on the brink of utter madness, give it to her.

The kiss
Make your first lick a slow and tender "ice cream" lick from bottom to top. Make it long and lasting. Take it all in.

Start at the base of her vaginal entrance, the fourchette, and work your way up.

Take in the full length of her labia minora (inner lips) and let your tongue rest briefly against her frenulum, the area just under the clitoral head.

As you go over the head, brush it lightly as a feather, and then proceed to her front commissure (the area just above the head).

Push down on her front commissure with the tip of your tongue and feel the sinewy clitoral shaft beneath it.

As you kiss her slowly from top to bottom, press your finger lightly against her perineum (the expanse of skin just below her vaginal entrance).

When you lick the full span of her vaginal entrance, place your hand atop her mons pubis and nudge it gently toward her abdomen. This will stretch the skin and tighten her vaginal entrance, enabling you to lushly encompass her sensitive inner labia as you lick.

As an alternative to the standard position, grab hold of her upper thighs prior to the first kiss and pivot her legs up into the air so that only her butt is touching the bed and her vulva is completely exposed.

No matter what your approach, take it long and slow, from bottom to top, and savor every step of the journey. Now that you've lavished her with the first kiss (that long full lick), let your tongue rest flat against the length of her vaginal entrance. Encompass her vulva with your tongue. Take a moment to let the experience of the first kiss resonate.

Make sure it's love at first lick.

Hot Sex Trends Worth Trying: Fulfill a Phone Fantasy

From the pages of Cosmo Magazine online comes this tidbit of advice that may be well worth applying to your love life in SL. . . .

Hot Sex Trends Worth Trying: Fulfill a Phone Fantasy

These days everyone and their dog has a cell phone. Okay, maybe not everyone. More like 156.6 million Americans over the age of 12, according to the global market-research group GfK NOP. But how is our main mode of communication impacting our sex lives? Turns out, it's making couples more courageous. "Interacting via technology rather than face-to-face provides an anonymity that often makes it easier for partners to express their desires," explains Lisa B. Schwartz, Ph.D., a sex therapist in private practice in Pennsylvania. "More couples seem to be exploring this freedom and sharing fantasies this way."
If the thought of partaking in phone play leaves you kind of speechless, this passion plan will loosen you up. First thing in the morning, lock your guy in for the evening with a firm text message. (Cancel your plans. U R mine 2nite.) At noon, divulge more of your pleasure plot in a second text (My place. 8. Bring a necktie and whipped cream).
When he shows up at 7:25 (the man will be eager, girl), grab the props, make him comfortable on the sofa and quickly retreat to another room. Then dial him up on his cell from behind closed doors and tell him step-by-step exactly what you wish you were doing to him ("I want to tie you to my bedpost and lick whipped cream off every last inch of you"). Keep up the delicious banter until he has no choice but to hang up and barge right in.



Now how to translate that to SL? For one thing, before you even hit the virtual bedroom start in IMs telling him what you want to do to him when you see him. Just as the Cosmo Tip suggested build the anticipation for him.

Let's face it, SL is basically phone sex when you use voice. Use the private call feature in SL voice. Your sim doesn't have voice enabled, you say? NP! Get your partner to load Gtalk, or AIM, Yahoo Messenger or any other voice capable chat program that both of you can run. Then run your voice conversation separate from your SL role play. In fact the connection is often cleaner and clearer through a chat program than in SL voice.

Why add this dimension of sound? Believe me when I say it is an incredible turn on to hear your partner's pleasure. No more typing of an emote (/me moans softly)--just do it! Hearing your partner's voice can help you gauge his responses better, too. Is he quiet, not saying much? Take a different tactic. Move from vaginal to oral sex talk. Is he saying "yes, oh god, yes!" in that I-am-going-to-explode tone of voice as you tell him what you are doing to him? Then you are heading in the right direction. Voice adds a whole new sensation to SL sex. Give it a listen!