My Song for D: "Having Wings" Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals (Live @ XM Studios)

I heard a street singer play a song I knew
It brought me closer to you
I heard a street singer play a song I call my own
It brought me to my childhood home

Did you go back from where you came?
If I get there, will they have my name?
If they don't, I'll only have myself to blame
For all these things, true happiness is having wings

Life is a blurry-eyed, heavy-hearted whirlwind of a storm
Some things just hurt too much to cry
Memories are like shadows the light won't make disappear
I still see you smiling with your eyes

Did you go back from where you came?
If I get there, will they have my name?
If they don't, I'll only have myself to blame
For all these things, true happiness is having wings

A Second Life. . . or why am I here?

You are asking yourself what is this woman talking about? A second life? It's true . . . but to really understand my second life, you need to experience Second Life.

I admit it, I am addicted. I'd like to blame Bobby and Amanda who first mentioned it. Or Rhiannon who got me to watch over her shoulder, but the truth is I am a sucker for a good storyline and the beauty of SL is that you can write your own story. It is role playing. It is the holodeck and the replicator (that's Trekker speak) all rolled into one. It is another reality and it is escapism.

So because it was almost summer and I had the time, I joined. Two years ago today. Next I needed money. Gotta buy clothes (don't want to look a total noob) and bling  from the designers and the scripters (because SL is also capitalism at its finest). The money here is called "Lindens," and one US real dollar is worth around 250L. So for about the price of a cup of Starbucks coffee I can have 1000 Lindens to play with in the Second Life world(s). Not bad. You don't have to really eat, or mow the grass, or do the dishes (unless you want to--just about anything can be put into gestures, a string of actions that your character or avatar can do). This includes virtual sex.  Best of all though is the dancing. Alone on a club floor, in the arms of a handsome avatar, even all by yourself in the moonlight. 

And then there is SL sex. Think about it.  No bugs to catch. You can say YES. Maybe get money for saying yes, maybe get presents, maybe just do it because you want to connect to a special someone. And you can say NO. And no one can force you. Don't like the guy who is coming on to you? Mute button. He follows you around? Delete him from of your friends list and he can't see you. Corners you? TP (teleport) out. Harrasses you? Report him to the PTB. All in all that adds up to the potential for a lot of fun, and no foul.

Beware, though, SL is addicting. Don't let SL occupy you so much that you forget that you have a Real Life (tm) too. And don't mix them or there is a big broken heart potential. Don't share RL info in SL with anyone you do not know VERY well. Don't be surprised when (if you share SL info with them) RL friends think you need therapy.

A good thing to keep in mind is that this is role playing. Your avatar (your SL body) is both you and not you. You can look anyway you want. In fact, most of the avatars look like gorgeous sexy 20 somethings. Never assume that how the avatar looks is the same as how the person looks in RL! Many of us do try to stick somewhat close to our ideal RL selves. I am, for instance, really an RL blonde, but in RL my eyes are more grey than green or blue. Some of us choose to be another gender, or another creature. I can be a smoke demon. Or a lust demon. In SL we can have any face and hair and body and clothes we want (or can afford). We can have wings, fur, feathers, elf ears, vampire teeth, horns, scales, or tails. I know of one fellow who lives most of his SL life as a Cheetah. I've met another who was a robot. And there is no way to tell what anyone's real age is. All of this is NP (no problem) if we don't lose control, if we don't forget which life is which.

A Song for SL Dancers: "Human" by the Killers

I have fallen in love with this song by the Killers. It asks a very poignant question: are we human or are we dancer"? But what does a question like this mean?

Of course we are all indeed human--with all the fallibility inherent thereto: anger, pain, jealousy, illicit desire, and deceit. But perhaps we are also more than human when we let art take us above mere humanity. We are, as dancers, as beings engaged actively in art and in social interaction through that art (music, dance, all the performance and creative arts) much more able to appreciate all the things arts inspire or are inspired by--most especially desire, romance, being loved, caring for a beloved.

So, of course, this song reminds me of dancing my way through second life with a special friend. Not only because of the dance he and I dance in SL, but for the feathers on the lead singer's shoulders (wings? armor?) and the black crow (his totem) that flies through the video as well.

And if you, Dear Reader, have a lover with whom you dance (and, oh, the connotations that word dance can cover!) you, too, should take a closer look at this song.

Are you just Human? Or are you Dancer? Me--I hope I will be dancing.

[Note: follow this link to the (not embeddable) official song video with lyrics. And check out this one by the Second Life Sky Navy. Or this one: the Stalker Chick version!]

A Song for Tonight: "One Sweet Love" by Sara Bareilles

Just about the time the shadows call
I undress my mind and dare you to follow
Paint a portrait of my mystery
Only close my eyes and you are here with me
A nameless face to think I see
To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of
My own devices....
Could I be wrong?

The time that I've taken I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?

Sleepless nights you creep inside of me
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share
You take more than just my sanity
You take my reason not to care.
No ordinary wings I'll need
The sky itself will carry me back to you
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up
The moon for you
Just come down soon

The time that I've taken I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sip on
The southern rain
As I do, I don't look don't touch don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.

The earth that is the space between,
I'd banish it from under me...to get to you.
Your unexpected love provides my solitary's
Suicide...oh I wish I knew

The time that I've taken I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

With Wings

with wings on the patio
Originally uploaded by Tsai Jie

Just had to show you what dancing looks like with wings on the Serendipity Seekers patio!

Jinara and Hawk at Blue Noise

Jinara and Hawk at Blue Noise
Originally uploaded by Tsai Jie

Jinara sent me this pic of the new hunk in her life, Hawk. Seems they've been getting pretty cozy of late. You go girl!

Angels and Demons at Blue Noise Hideaway

Last night was an "Angels and Demons" event at Blue Noise Hideaway in Waterton, so I dug out my favorite Seraphim wings from Material Squirrel and put my dancing shoes on (my favorite Diamond Stilettos from Awori Cassini) and headed on down. My angel outfit top and thong are the FaeSilks Ice Princess from Suki's Silks, but the with that top skirt was lace and I just didn't like the look of it, so I wore the white Harem Skirt, also by Suki, which fastened nicely to my thong with its bit of gold jewelry. My jewelry is the Ode in Amber series from Random Calliope's most recent butterfly hunt--a gift I got from a special man who went collecting the jewelry laden butterflies on Valentine's Day. I was pretty pleased at the mix and match angel outfit, especially since my fur cuffs gave off fairy lights and my halo (a freebie I picked up ages ago) and shoes had lots of bling! I was the brightest angel in the bunch! Here's my angelic boys from another angle, that's Jerzy on the left and Porkie on the right, and there's Katie, MicahJohn, Cutiepie, and Zach in the background. Another fun evening for everyone at the Blue Noise!

SL Sociology 101 by Corwyn Allen

[The following is an article written by an RL friend of mine who has recently discovered SL and who, familiar with the many masks of role-play, has taken a close look at what he sees in the world of SL fantasy. --Tsai]

All the World’s a Stage

So here I am, chatting up this lovely young avatar in Second Life, telling her how I’m going to eventually buy some land and start building a place of my own when she asks me, “So what will you be role-playing?” I had to take a long pause. I’d never heard that question asked in SL. Granted, I’ve only been playing a scant few months, but still, it’s not even a question I’d asked myself. Why? Because to me SL *is* role-playing. I mean, here we are, taking new names, creating new bodies for our avatars, and putting on clothing (or in some cases taking it off) that we’d never be able to wear in Real Life (RL from here on out). We’re creating characters that are sometimes extensions of how we see ourselves in our minds' eye, and sometimes characters that are so far away from who we are as to be completely unrecognizable by even the creators of that character. Then we create personal spaces, homes that are castles or pagodas, or high rise apartment buildings, sometimes even floating in the sky. And let’s not forget the virtual sex. It turns phone sex into a cheap date. Now if that isn’t role-playing, I’m not sure I know what is. To me, all of SL is role-playing no matter what you personally do with it.

You Can Lead a Horticulture…

I guess that needs clarification. There are many more different cultures in SL than one can ever find outside of science fiction or fantasy novels in RL. There are of course those that spill over from RL, the Goths, the Vampires, the Furries and others who inhabit Sci-Fi Cons (science fiction conventions to the initiated). These people create their own spaces and avatars that emulate what they do to a lesser degree in RL. The Nekos, or Cat People, are one example. These folks create avatars that look like Anime humanoid cats. I have seen examples of people in RL getting piercings and tattoos and even skin implants to emulate given animals, like one man who had implants put into his upper lip so he could attach cat whiskers, and then got cat’s eye contact lenses and wears ears and fur and cat makeup. And a guy who got an all body tattoo to resemble lizard scales and skin implants to make his head more lizard-like. These are considered extreme in RL, but in SL it’s all par for the course because the ears, whiskers, and even tails become part of your SL body. And you don’t need to mutilate your RL body to do it. In fact you can change your body any time you want. I only wish I had the physique in RL that I have given myself in SL. Woo-hoo!

Tripping the Light Fantasia

But let’s not forget the folks who just go for a relatively normal appearance. Ok, so there’s nothing “normal” about everyone looking like they just stepped out of Cosmo or Today’s Man, but that’s not the point. No one in SL, at least no one I’ve yet encountered, ever builds an avatar that looks enough like themselves in RL that you could put their RL picture up next to their SL picture and not be able to tell them apart. They want an idealized version of themselves. So even if they don’t go Goth or Neko or LGM from outer space they’re still a fantasy character.

So what does that mean? It means that we’re here for the fantasy. We can do things in SL we can’t do in RL. I’d love to be able to fly without having to use an airplane or even have wings. I’d love to be able to teleport from one place to another. But more than that, I’d love to be able to chat up or flirt with a pretty young woman I’ve never met without fear of getting hit with a sexual harassment suit, or just plain hit. (Ow!) But it’s even more than that. We’re here for the relationships. So let’s talk about that.

There are all kinds of things one can do in SL with a partner (or partners if that’s your thing). From simple cuddling on some cushions, to dancing to . . . well, you get the idea. And there are graphic, um, aids, that can enhance these experiences. And this leads to arousal of varying degrees in RL. I have to admit to feeling aroused while slow dancing with a pretty avatar. Just watching the avatars interact can be very stimulating. And once you get to intimate chatting with your partner the experience increases.

Only the Lonely?

So why do we come to SL to do this? I think because in many cases we simply can’t do it in RL. Oh sure, we might be able to if the opportunity presented itself, but that’s the point. For some people that opportunity is not going to present itself in RL for a variety of reasons. One person may not be what is considered physically attractive. Another may have the social skills of a goat. Yet another may simply be afraid of social encounters. But in SL you can find those opportunities in wild abundance. The chances for casually intimate (no, that’s not an oxymoron) relationships in SL are as abundant as wild flowers in a spring meadow. Let’s revisit the avatar’s appearance for a minute. Someone is going to build the most attractive avatar for themselves that they can. They've created a flower to attract butterflies. In RL they may not be that pretty flower and the people they would want to attract in RL wouldn’t give them the time of day. But in SL it’s easy. And once people come up to you or allow you to approach them the door is open to further social interaction.

But it’s not all about the appearance. That’s just the initial attractor. Remember I said that our characters are extensions of our RL selves. How we physically see ourselves in our own minds. So once the initial virtual pheromone has been sent out by way of the appearance of the avi (short for avatar) one now has to introduce the persona. We have to speak and act a certain way in order to maintain the attractiveness. Some personae, once they open their virtual mouths immediately turn other persons off no matter how attractive they are (gee, just like in RL). Still others have a way with words that enhance the visual attractiveness. This is what I call the Romance Factor.

Romancing the Grid

I think we are all looking for romance in one form or another. For some romance can take the form of the casual liaison or even just sex, virtual or otherwise (I have to pause here and quote a favorite writer, Spider Robinson, who had one of his characters comment on making love vs. just plain having sex as saying, “I tried fucking. There’s nothing wrong with it. There’s just not enough right with it”). For others it’s all about how the person you’re with makes you feel by what they say to you and how they phrase it. Some people in SL are looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend that they can’t manage to find in RL. Someone who makes them feel special or cherished. They come to SL because they’re lonely and need that romantic lift in their lives. They need to be able to speak openly and freely without fear of the consequences or repercussions one might encounter in RL. Some want to have multiple and varied partners perhaps because they don’t want to be tied to one avi or because their own fantasies cover different venues, one time being an elegant Regency Period gentleman, the next a Medieval Lord or a Harley Biker with a jet pack. The roles can change in SL. They don’t have to be static. And so the Romance Factor is further enhanced.

Lookin’ for Love in all the Virtual Spaces

We must, however be sure not to confuse virtual romance with real love. And of course that brings us to an interesting question. Just what is love and how does it equate through feeling romantic in a game? I’m not sure I know the answer to that. (Anyone? Bueller?) I think there is a danger of “falling in love” with an avatar as opposed to the persona behind the avatar. I’ve known at least one real person who has come to love an SL persona, but their relationship, while totally electronic (they live in different part of the country and have never met outside SL), has been fulfilling for both and they have related on both an SL and an RL level. This is a romance between the real people behind the personae, not just between role-played avatars or those avatars' personae.

In any case, I think one should approach SL relationships with caution. Feelings can be just as fragile in the virtual world as in the real. Be up front and be honest. You may find it’s much easier in SL than in RL. In fact, SL may actually make social interaction easier for the person who is more socially inept in RL who can interact here with people up front and honestly without being overtly offensive or worse, being terrified to act at all.

The Final Frontier

In summation, what we have is a lot of people leading dull, dreary, lonely or just plain uninteresting Real Lives looking for the excitement of romance in a personally tailored Second Life. But unlike RL, in SL you can put less in and get more out of it. But of course SL isn’t inhabited by only those looking for romance. A good time can be had by all, and that good time varies with personal interests. The intent of this article is to only focus on the role-playing and romance aspects of SL.

So at the end of the day we find ourselves drawn to our fantasies, be they bodice-ripping romance novels, a favorite television show in which we become invested in the characters on the screen, or Second Life. The real world around is vast, but at the same time too constricting. We must obey the laws, whether of physics or of government. We must be aware that in RL one person’s charming conversation is another person’s sexist or racist remark. If you bump into someone you should ask their pardon, and you can’t walk under water. But in SL, if at first you don’t succeed, redraw your avi and start again. No one is going to have you arrested, or sent to court and fined, and the worst that can happen is that you can get booted off SL for abuse (see their terms of agreement). You can do a lot with SL as long as you remember it’s only a role-playing fantasy and RL is still out there waiting for you to get up on Monday morning and go to work so you can continue to pay for your SL account and Internet access. Just a final word of caution; be careful about letting your SL spill over into your RL. That man you’re kissing may just turn out to be a woman.

Second Life Places To Visit: Grendel's Children Revisited

A week ago I told you about a lovely sim called Grendel's Children, well . . . since then I have had the chance to revisit that place, explore it further, and it is even more impressive than I thought. Grendel's is the brainchild of Flea Bussy who has made a secondlife career of unique avatar design. From dragons to dark fae, robots to raptors, sirens to succubi, trolls to tanks, you can find anything you can envision becoming in Grendel's. In a recent interview with Not Possible in Real Life, Flea says that: "I'm one of those people who's bread and butter is imagination. I always wanted to make, say, 'stuff for video games,' a very common dream of teens 'n such, 'n then you grow up realizing it's not easy, and not like you'll just get scooped up by some game company 'n be all hailed. And, over a bit of time, I realized I'd hate (it) if all the things I invented existed as they do in 90% of games to: 'just kill it.'" Fortunately for us, Flea diecovered Second Life. Now, 4 sims and 800 avatars later, here's Grendel's Children with Flea and a staff of 23 builders cranking out some of the coolest avs in SL, as well as building and nmaintaining a vast and gorgeous landscape to role play those marvelous creations in.

This is me in my new Lust Demon hair, eyes, and wings from the av collection there.

There are three floors of skybox shops in Grendel's, and all the avs come with full pacakges of skins, shapes, hair, eyes, and clothing--most of them for under $100, and many of them for free.

Don't just take my word for it!

• See some of the amazing pictures of Grendel's on Arahan Claveau's Flickr set.
• Read Natalia Zelmanov's extensive post about Grendel's Children in her Mermaid Diaries!
• See what Lillie Guildenstern has to say about the sim and her new siren av in her Lilikin's Blog.

And then just go visit it yourself in Avaria!

Shaking Booty at Blue Noise

So it's Saturday night and I am back shaking it in Blue Noise. The best thing about this club is really the people who work here. First there is Rhi, who manages the place, she's gorgeous and witty and has the fellows lining up. Then there are Kat, Roj, Doc, and Nerdi, who host the club's many and various contests. Among the female dancers there is me, of course, and Cordy, Sky, Bobbi, Savannah, Lucy, Harley, Envy, Jinara, Zoya, Sandrene, Lucy, Sandra, and many more. Some of these dancers double as escorts as well and can show you the fun places in Blue Noise's Sister Club, Blue Noise Hideaway. There are male dancers, too, including Jamien, Jara, Konstantine, and Nerdi, as well as several others. The DJs: MC, Patrick, Clinton, and the Radio Trauma gang, are wonderful, and love to take requests.

But the best thing about Blue Noise is that there is a camaraderie among the dancers, escorts, and the staff that is dynamic. On any given night there may be a only few, to a handful, to a crowd of patrons in BN, all having fun on the floor. You might be stalked by a sassy Aussie, or offered a Tesla coil by a savvy fox, or invited by a hot west coast lesbian to join a conga line and strip. Unlike other clubs where there are price guidelines for clothing coming off, the BN bunch is always ready to get naked--usually this is encouraged by one particular bad boy dancer who will challenge the ladies to match him clothing piece by clothing piece. By the end of any night you will find half the patrons naked as well! Expect an offer to go home with our favorite stripper fella to try out his latest set of orgy balls.

On costume contest nights you might find a mermaid in the pool, a sexy dragon on the dance floor, or a hot dancer in fairy wings who has more particle machines than most of SL. Then there's the schoolgirl types,: one in bobbysocks who will stun you with her athletic abilities and another in pink pigtails who can tease a man to orgasm in IM without ever leaving the dancepole. The conversation can ranges from surfing to Shakespeare, from London to Lisbon to L.A., from fav TV shows, to particle physics, to Preraphaelite art, to sexual techniques. A little something for everyone, and never boring.

If you are a Blue Noise VIP you probably know who all I am talking about here, if you are not . . . well c'mon up and see me sometime and I'll introduce you around. . . .

Quote for tonight: from Kahlil Gibran

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you, yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you, believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

--from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

Another love song: "Mystic´s Dream" by Loreena McKennitt

this one is for the black birds...

A clouded dream on an earthly night
Hangs upon the crescent moon
A voiceless song in an ageless light
Sings at the coming dawn
Birds in flight are calling there
Where the heart moves the stones
It's there that my heart is longing
All for the love of you

A painting hangs on an ivy wall
Nestled in the emerald moss
The eyes declare a truce of trust
And then it draws me far away
Where deep in the desert twilight
Sand melts in pools of the sky
When darkness lays her crimson cloak
Your lamps will call me home

And so it's there my homage's due
Clutched by the still of the night
And now I feel you move
Every breath is full
So it's there my homage's due
Clutched by the still of the night
Even the distance feels so near
All for the love of you.

Tsai's life goes off on a Tangent

I am not even sure where I was when I met him. It has been only a week or so, and it feels like centuries. Time in SL messes you up like that. I was on a quest for the perfect pair of sexy shoes. You know all strappy and sparkly. And when I walked out of the store, there he was. Standing in the middle of the street, looking all dark and broody. Black hair in a ponytail, long wisps of it falling in his face. Dark glasses, black jacket. The kind of man your mother tells you to stay away from. A dark bird of prey. Dangerous. Desirable.

I wanted to try out my newest sexy walk so I strutted past him. Let him see my ass. That usually does the trick. I was expecting a wolf howl, or a raunchy comment. Was thinking, why don’t I get clients who look like that? Then he stopped me. Of all the unexpected things he could say, he asked the origins of my name. I told him that I’d tell him about mine if he’d tell me about his. We went to Mystic’s Club. (I highly recommend Slow Dance 4!) We danced. I have been dancing ever since.

There is something about this mystery man. He is an enigma—even for SL. Scary desires. The hands of an artist. The silver-tongue of a poet. "Verbal foreplay" he calls it and he is not wrong. Let me tell you, the give and take of teasing and flirting, the fencing with innuendo, and the right balance of sexy talk and promise—this is a fine art. Here’s the thing guys, most women know that the art of lovemaking lies not just in the look, but also in the words. You can be the hunkiest of hunks and if your dialogue is consistently "hey, I wanna f*** you!" you will not be getting flocks of hot women rushing to lie down for you.

It is easy for women to pick up most men. Men love to hear us talk sexy. But rare is the man who can keep us on our toes. Who can keep up his half of the dialogue, and mean it. I have met scores of men in SL... only a handful were truly good at SL flirting. One hot geek, one sexy Brit, and this man, my mystery lover.

Don’t know where this is going, don’t know how long it will last. Don’t care. I’ll fly this bird as long as he will return. No jesses, no hood. And if the talons he has hooked into my heart are occasionally scary—well, life is not...love is not... for sissies.