I found this very useful tidbit on the Ambiance website:
Most people, even those with very passionate love lives, all have a sexual fantasy that has gone unfulfilled. For example, there may be a toy you've always wanted to try, or a position that's intrigued you, or a fantasy role play that you've never acted on. Have you considered the holiday season as the perfect time to introduce the idea to your partner.
Just as most of us give ample hints as to other Christmas gifts we desire, these are no different. A creative way to drop the hint is to leave a book on the subject (with a bookmark in a telling spot) next to your bed or somewhere else where your partner is sure to notice. Or, if you have a close friend who you can talk openly to, have a conversation with him or her on the phone when your partner can hear you. (And butter them up in the conversation, too: "She would look so hot. . . ." or "He would simply make me melt if he. . .") These can both be conversation starters that makes your partner aware of desire.
Or, you could also throw subtlety out the window and simply email a link to a product on a website . . . may we suggest Ambiance.com?
Now those are some good ideas and I do applaud the idea of getting the "presents" you want at the holidays (or, in fact, year 'round), but here's another thought. . . . Get in the habit of talking openly and honestly with your partner (SL and/or RL) about your wants, needs. Most women don't speak up enough about their sexual desires and most men don't push it. So we tiptoe around each other in a state of sexual frustration. Silly, isn't it?
If you are too shy to be up front, well then the hints work, too. Here's a big way to drop a hint. Take him to an adult video store and point out the videos that demonstrate what you want. (Take one or two home and watch them together, you'll get the action you want!) Or take him to the adult toy store and point out the "toy" that looks like fun. (You can even buy him the toy you want and suggest he use it on you.) Or, rather than just strategically placing the bookmark, read the whole erotic passage that turns you on out loud to him. I bet he'll be heading your way and undressing before you can say: "doesn't that sound like fun?"
Two things to always be aware of: (1) if you want sex from your partner be affectionate! Snuggle up. Pinch his ass. Touch him in intimate places. Whisper that secret fantasy in his ear. I lay you odds he'll respond. And (2) pay attention to how he touches you. Most of us touch our partners in ways we want to be touched ourselves. If you pay attention you can decipher the clues he's sending out and respond accordingly. Then when he's all turned on by your responsiveness, tell him what you like. Few of us can read our partner's minds; there is nothing wrong with up front honesty about sexuality (no matter what your mother told you about "good girls").
Good sex is reciprocal, you will get as much as you give. Here's wishing all of you a fantastic season of "giving"!
Oh and, Santa, if you are reading this. . . Ambiance is my favorite toy store, too.
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