I know Draven has been really busy. RL gets in our way so much these days. Sometimes he says, "We are in a good place." Which to me means he is comfortable with us just as we are. Why then do I feel like he's farther away than he used to be? For a fairly tough cookie I can be bloody insecure.
I wanted to talk to him about it Monday, but he wasn't there, only Wren was in-world. She had twenty questions for me: what was new with Rhi? Had I seen Seth lately? Who was that guy [Jamesen] I used to talk art with? What is he doing these days? Have I heard from Kilroy lately? I began to wonder if she was quizzing me for Draven. She does tell him evereything--little sis to big brother. Did he ask her to ask me? Was he worrying that I was seeing someone else? Was he seeing someone and was she trying to break it to me gently? Were my hormones in a dither and making me paranoid for no good reason?
Tuesday got crazy so I didn't get to talk to Draven in the morning. You know a half a year ago I would have heard from him 10 times a day. A year and a half ago I heard from him once or twice a week. Where we are now--chat once a day, an email here and there, in-world for a bit every other night or so--really does seem to be a balance point. So why am I so greedy for more of his time. For more of him? Selfish woman. Well, I thought, we have a date for a long romantic evening Wednesday night. We will talk about all this, and laugh at my foolishness, and it will be all better.

Where are you, my heart, when I need you to talk to me?
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