Friday, July 18, 2014


It has been an odd week in Valis. Jinara swung by on Tuesday all aglow. Seems she ran into Mal on Monday night. Months of no word from him and then there he was, cute and cuddly and wanting to play. A night of romantic fun and I figured she'd stop moping about Hawk and be back to fixating on Malcolm. But when I asked if she was getting back together with Mal, she just shrugged. "Jhai's right," she told me. "You can't worry about men. There are here and then they are gone. They just have different priorities than women. No biggie! It is what it is." And off she went to chase lucky chairs with Heron. I am not sure if it is a good sign that she is not moping or a bad one, as in has she given up on love?

Then on Tuesday Jhai, who is usually the unflappable one, asked Dabrin to Punday night at Callahan's Crosstime Saloon. Unfortunately although he did show up, he couldn't stay for long. I was adding a new swan to the water in Valis when Jhai came fuming home. "Men. Damn them." Ash showed up around then and I just gaped as the two of them (seems Wulf--Ash's number one boy toy--has been unavailable of late, too) went into a duet rant about being treated like china dolls on a shelf--toys to be played with when the "boys" have time.

"Wait a minute!" I said to Jhai. Aren't you the one who always told me that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle?" Here was Jinara, the emotional one, being blasé, and Jhai, usually the rational one, going all emotional. I made a note to myself to check the horoscopes on all of them. As I logged out I saw they were at the waterfall throwing stones at the fish and still bitching.

Last night it was my turn to be lonely, missing Draven. I know he's busy, RL busy. But I had gotten so used to hearing from him multiple times in the day that these days when we are both so wrapped in RL it gets hard. Still, I had talked to him just that morning--god, I love his voice. It's like velvet on my skin. But there I was in Valis feeling kind of neglected and kind of sorry for myself and kind of hoping he was going to just suddenly be there in that way he has of appearing out of nowhere and making everything all right in my world. But he didn't and it wasn't, it never is allright when he is far away. Then I saw Amanda pop online, and not having heard from her in a while I IMed. She came over and I showed her around the new store. I was feeling better with some company, until. . . .

Draven has all his dresses up on vendors there in the store and most of them are being modeled by Heron. "Who is the blonde with the tits," 'Manda asked. "Then she looked at me funny and asked, "Everything okay between you and Draven?"

"Of course it is, never better," I told her. Then I stopped. Heron isn't interested in Draven. Nor he in her. Really. I am sure of it. I mean, we are all pretty certain Heron likes girls. Even if she is very hot. And blonde. And several slider points larger than me in the chest as well as smaller in the waist. But no matter how pretty she is, Draven isn't interested in her that way. Really. I am sure of it. Aren't I?

OMG, I'm an insecure bitch!

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