So I was at the Lotus Moon dancing (and flirting) with a very sexy man and we somehow began discussing the rules for flirting. What, you say? Rules? Yes, I tell you. RULES!
Flirting is a fine and noble art. It dates back to the first caveman who took the hand of his cavegirl rather than just thumping her on the head and dragging her off by the hair. The Courtesans of Ancient Greece and Rome knew the game, as did the concubines of China and the Geisha of Japan. (I won't go into the list of famous flirts of history from whom you could learn much, as that is for a future post, but if you want a few names to conjure with, consider Lalage, Yang Guifei, and Inara Serra.) I'm here to tell you we need more lessons in the art of flirting. Ladies, pay attention if you want to get attention. Gentlemen pay heed or risk being rude and crude, and getting slapped.
And in the spirit of sharing the info, I give you my rules for flirting . Here are the first three, stay tuned for future installments. . . .
RULE #1: Never flirt with someone with whom you couldn't be serious. Light flirting is one thing, but it is not fair to tease a man into thinking you'd go to bed with him if you never would. Too many people break this rule, unreasonable expectations are raised, and then people get hurt.
RULE #2: Lay the ground rules up front. If you don't want him then be clear. . . say something to the effect of how: "flirting is so much fun with you because I know you know better than to take me seriously." If you do want him (or her) also make it clear. Say something like: "flattery will get you everywhere, honey." Don't, however, go too quickly too fast. This is a dance, a game. Savor the moment.
RULE #3: Don't Lie. Ever. You can exaggerate. Compliment, of course. But if you tell a whooper, he'll know. And he'll never trust anything you say after that. Flirting is like fencing--feint, step back, thrust. But your point must be true or you'll never get the kill.
Continued: Rule #4