Thursday, September 18, 2008

Song for a Second Life Thursday: "U Want Me 2" by Sarah McLachlan

This is a hauntingly beautiful song.

The two things that caught my attention are the title, which is in chat speak, and the phrase in the lyrics that speaks of "Our eden . . . A made-up story to fit the picture-perfect world." Sounds like Second Life to me.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

With Wings

with wings on the patio
Originally uploaded by Tsai Jie
Just had to show you what dancing looks like with wings on the Serendipity Seekers patio!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Take the Steampunk Style Quiz

My result for The Steampunk Style Test...

The Ragamuffin

"You are the Ragamuffin, the embodiment of steampunk playfulness. Chances are, you approach the genre from a much more casual and lighthearted standpoint than most other fans. To you, there is always an element of play inherent in the genre, and you may very well enjoy fashion as much for the opportunity to dress up as for the style itself. You probably wear goggles as an accessory, and rarely as actual eye-protection. Your outfits are likely to incorporate a lot of brown or cream, and combine large boots, Victorian corsets or vests, aviator caps or bowler hats, and gypsy skirts or slacks, simply because you like them all."

Take The Steampunk Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Friday, September 12, 2008

Song du Jour: TaeYang's "Look At Only Me"


I’ve been telling you everyday
I smile when I see you.
I’ve told you so many times
You’re the love of my life.
In this world full of lies, in my nervous heart
the one thing I believe in is you.
When you get nervous thinking that my feelings may change
Remember I laughed when I told you that would never happen.
A direction with no end,
my completely empty heart
The only place I can lean on is you.
And I hate that my heart sometimes wavers
Even today I get carried away by the world
and you get erased

Even if I cheat
Don’t you ever cheat, Baby
Even if I forget you
Don’t you ever forget me, Lady
If once in a while I don’t contact you
and I go out to drink
Even if I ever meet another girl’s gaze
Look only at me.

When you tell me with tears in your eyes
that you spent all night waiting up for me
you say “I think you changed.”
So many nights you ask me to tell you
that my feeling are the same as when I first met you.
Although it seems that I am miserable without you
Honestly sometimes you suffocate me
The never ending arguments
The long sighs.
Although the only place for you to lean is on me
I hate that sometimes I get sick of you
Even today I smile
and lose myself without my knowledge

Even if I cheat....

I know well that I’m self-centered
And I spend my days in meaningless activities
Becoming filthier, baby.
I want to leave your purity as it is,
this is my sincerity, my belief in you
Don’t leave me even in death

Even if I cheat...
Look only at me.

The Nuts and Bolts of being an E-wife

Yesterday I talked about a blog post someone sent me regarding the damage done to Real relationships by Virtual relationships. Not the first time someone has told me that. Usually the kind of advice I hear from people not involved in virtual relationships is something along the lines of: "If you really love him you would give him up and let him get on with his real life," or in some cases: "If you are so serious about him you should go take him away from that RL wife/GF/lover." Both of those perspective come from people who only see validity in "Reality." Sometimes a thing is neither black nor white, but some shade of grey between the two.

Today I got an email from someone who is in both a virtual relationship and a real one. In VR she has a man with whom she is carrying on a torrid love affair. In RL she loves her husband, has a baby girl, and wants more children with him. And her RL husband is a very nice, hard-working man doing his best to support her and their baby--a man who is, however, not always as available to her or romantic with her as her only-a-text-message-away e-BF. Mutually exclusive relationships? Not as much as you would think.

She began her email telling me how her e-BF had told her some secrets, secret stuff he had never shared with her before, and since she hates the whole secretiveness thing, she found herself really annoyed with him for keeping secrets in the first place. But thinking about secrets and the trading of RL info between people in a VR romance leads to another thought. Is there a "need to know" on the RL information in a VR or romance? She said:

"Then I came to a somewhat cool realization. I am his vacation girl. I am the Caribbean, where his mind wanders when the rest of his world is rainy and grey. I am not the nuts and bolts. That does not diminish what this is or how anyone feels for anyone is what it is. I am not his home. His house. He is not unhappy in his life, which would change little if I were gone (not saying it wouldn't hurt). I am not here to judge. I can love him for all those things...."

She can love him for what she does have with him, because clearly she is not looking to change any RL situations, his or hers. He can't be what the RL husband can be, the man with whom she has daily conversations about all the nuts and bolts of living. The diapers, the dinner, paying the bills, but also about having babies and building a life. But her virtual BF can be, as she is for him, the escape that keeps her going through and past the stresses of the day to day. A VR lover is the daydream you have--but an interactive daydream, with a playmate. A daydream that allows you to go home to RL and deal with the nuts and bolts.

In fact, the nuts and bolts of a virtual relationship are pretty superficial. Polite chat about your day, what is new with your RL life? Maybe--but not too much of that, probably no more than you would tell a co-worker or the mailman. More imaginative chat about places you would, go things you wish you could do? Yes, lots of trading of fantasies. And in that, a great deal of what the two of you would/could do romantically/erotically in those faraway exotic places/moments you will likely never see. Moments which spark a romantic side of you that you then take home to real life.

If you participate in a virtual world like Second Life no doubt much of your chat is also consumed by what is new in that life, not in "Real Life." There too lies fantasy. In SL there are no dirty dishes or laundry, the housekeeping is simple, messes can be deleted, and no one ever has bad breath, bed head, zits, or warts, no one snores, farts, burps, or embarrasses you in front of your mother . . . all the annoying details (nuts and bolts) of RL are just not there. Different kind of relationship entirely. One which doesn't threaten a real life relationship. . . unless you choose to let it. But that, my friends, is a different story altogether.