Song for this week: "You Lift Me Up" by Josh Groban

An unusual pairing: Josh Groban's beautiful voice singing a song with lyrics that speak to me; add to that a Japanese anime version of Romeo and Juliet. And yet, on so many levels, it works for me. The Romeo of my dreams, on a mountain top. Who could ask for more?

When the going gets Tough, the Tough go Shopping

So after a long hectic week what else is there to do but go get your hair done. I did, and the result is a mane down to my ass like I haven't had in ages. Finally! Long prim hair that doesn't move like steel spikes! The hair is from Calico Creations in Calico Kitty. The outfit is called "Huntress" and came from DE Designs. The rug, you ask? Sexgen . . . of course!

Second Life meets Television

No doubt like most of us, you already have problems explaining to your mother, your spouse, or other "concerned" relatives exactly why you have become a stripper / hooker / gambler / nameyourvicehere in SL. But brace yourself, it is gonna get worse. At least three major prime-time TV shows (The Office, CSI:NY, and Law & Order: SVU) have now aired episodes in which SL, or an obvious SL clone is prominently featured, and all within a few weeks of each other.

We knew it had to happen, a phenomenon like SL has a built in audience, with numbers the like of which TV advertisers drool over. But the recent exposure of SL in prime-time viewing is less flattering than how we SL addicts would like to be seen.

The least worrisome is perhaps The Office, which is described by Caroline McCarthy on the CNET blog Crave:

On Thursday night's episode of The Office on NBC, dweeby Dwight Schrute (played by Rainn Wilson) revealed himself to be a Second Life addict--something that doesn't require any suspension of disbelief. The Second Life banter began when Dwight's notably less nerdy co-worker, Jim (played by John Krasinski), asked Dwight if he was "playing that game again." "Second Life is not a game," Dwight replied authoritatively. "It is a multi-user virtual environment. It doesn't have points or scores; it doesn't have winners or losers." With all the deadpan wit that's made The Office the hit that it is, Jim fixed his glance on Dwight and commented, "Oh, it has losers."

So in SL we are all nerds. Not necessarily a horrible image. A tiny bit more worrisome is the CSI:NY episode that features a killer (yep, you guessed it he has an avatar) who is tracked down by the forensic team with the help of Linden Labs and some SL residents. SL Insider notes that:

Second Life, as it is portrayed, is given a pretty reasonable treatment--the skepticism of many of the core characters is not unusual--however, this is not the Second Life you know, just as CSI is not the forensics department you'll find if you go downtown.

Oh, but wait... you missed that episode. Never fear. Aside from being able to watch it on the web through the CSI:NY site, you can now get in the game in SL too. Just go to CBS's Virtual NY and join up to help solve virtual crimes. Yes, the TV marketers have noticed that you are spending more time on the computer than as mindless zombies in front of the boob-tube and they've decided that if they can't lick SL they can join it. All very exciting (like you don't have enough to do in-world already). And you can buy CSI paraphenalia and brands in-world. So we are nerds and they want our money. No surprize there.

The one that was the most problematic was the Law & Order: SVU episode called "Avatar," that aired a couple weeks ago though. In this one it's not called SL, it is "AU," Alternate Universe. And the interface looks like a cross between SL and Facebook. (Watch out all you Internet social networks, you're on the list!)

The difficulty with this episode is not the storyline itself: a young woman is kidnapped from her home by a lunatic who stalked her in the virtual world first and chose her there to be his RL victim. Nor is it the obvious distaste the police have for the idea of virtual worlds, though they gain a grudging respect for the Lab that runs the AU world and which is instrumental in the crime solving. The difficulty is the way this virtual world is portrayed and that all the residents there are seemingly sex-starved pedophiles. I have ranted about this episode before, so I won't go into it further here, except to say that it still makes me angry. More so now having looked again at the website for the show and seen a recent viewer post:

Lexi says: "Every Parent of a teen or pre-teen should have their child watch the 10/2 Avatar episode. It shows what can happen and even has a short "how" it happens. Normally I find the content a bit too mature for my little one, but this epison is six stars in my book for it's educational value."

Lexi clearly missed the point that there are no children in this episode. At all. Ever. That the crime was against a 20-something young woman. Instead what she took away was a need to warn her child about SL-like environments. Oh boy, yeah, that'll keep her baby safe on the street. (I hope Lexi spends more time reading to her kids than she spends watching adult shows with them; besides, given her spelling and punctuation, she could use more reading time herself.) I am not really surprized that Lexi missed the point. It was a convoluted plot. But the take-home message of that show was that SL-like virtual worlds are is a breeding grounds for sex-offenders.

My point here is not to "diss" concerned loved ones, but rather to point out to those of us who do engage in SL activities that we may have the same fight on our hands that the music industry and the gaming industry has dealing with people who want to blame heavy metal music for suicides and video games for school shootings. These recent television offerings with SL or SL-clones will only reinforce the opinions of those who see virtual world residents as nerds or worse as perverts.

So what do you do? Well wouldn't it be nice to see more of the stories about the kindnesses we find in SL? How about sharing some of those with the people who are concerned for your SL/RL welfare? Like the one about the SL widow whose partner died in RL and all her SL friends raised funds to get her a plane ticket to the funeral? Or romantic stories of the real people who meet fall in love and get married in SL as well as RL? And let's not forget the in-world art, concerts, even fund-raising events for RL charities.

Yes, there are people with problems, even violent people with psychoses, in SL--just like there are in the real world. Yes, there are sexual relationships in SL, from flirtations to marriages, and even divorces--just like in the real world. And there are also friendships, love, pain, joy, broken-hearts, great romances, and great creativity--just like in the real world, too. Yes, you can find all that in SL. You also find the bad with the good in the real world . . . But I don't see anyone advocating giving up on real life just because real humanity has its problems and downsides, too.

Song du Jour: "Patience" by Guns & Roses

Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now

Said, woman, take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said, sugar, make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
Patience...

I sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now
I'll wait, dear
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love
There's one more thing to consider

Said, woman, take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said, sugar, take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes
To make it, We won't fake it....

full lyrics here

Quote of the Week: Shakespeare

"Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun."

            -- from Romeo & Juliet

Special Song for a Special Man: Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes"

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are . . .

. . . in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes. . . .

How Not to Charm a Girl in SL by Lashxevious

Poking about the Blogosphere this morning I encountered Lashxevious, another SL blogger with a great sense of humor. Here's her take on how not to go about picking up chicks in SL:

How not to Charm a girl in SL by lashxevious
. . . Anyway, here are some things about SL guys that annoy me.

1. Moving too fast. SL is good for flirting. And flirting is fun! So why the hell ruin it by going into "Exclusive boyfriend" mode? That whole dancing the girl around and giving her the "I think I'm falling for you" spiel ... yeah, we know that line. And we know that's bullshit, especially if the most you've known the girl is 2 weeks and the most extensive conversation you've had was how much work your boss gave you. Usually if she does give it to you, she's just as ready to use you and spit you out, so well ... at least those fickle feelings are mutual.

2. Cheesy, Lame Casanovary. So you tp'd her to "Lover's Ultimate Uber Snuggly Heavenly Paradise Nirvana Utopia" where cuddle balls float atop primmy clouds and caves behind waterfalls harbour sexgen beds with 524,986 different poses where you can work your kamasutra mastery. Dude. It's. Not. Fun. Any girl worth her weight in online gaming will not think a laggy stroll through White Outline Tree park is fun. Fun is where there is opportunity for hilarity and goofiness. Let her whip out the katanas and spend an hour or so plummeling each other and throwing out cheesy kungfu dialog. She gets to be aggressive, you can be a man. It's flirty, it's friendly, and is about the closest you'll get to foreplay at the moment.

3. Having the audacity to think you can dress her better. Unless you were raised from birth by a pack of knowledgeable, posh fashion experts, there's no friggin chance in a mealyworm's rectum that you would know how to dress a woman. 9 times outta 10, that store you're taking her to is a direct replica of the Skanky Stripper 101 catalog. Now I wanna be sexy like anybody else, but there's sexy and there's skanky. Skanky is not hygienic. And giving her money to buy these things doesn't earn you points either becuz SHE HATES IT.

4. IM Whoring. Another peeve of mine. You invite the girl over and as soon as she is standing in front of you, you slump into a catatonic state. Head darting to and fro, revealing all too well the signs of IM ADD. Dude, if you invite her over, anyone over, pay attention to that person, since they obviously agreed to be pulled away from whatever it was they were doing to look at your sorry mug. If you can't be gracious enough to follow through with the invite, continue on with your precious IM's ... ALONE, ya spacey bastard.

5. Getting too sappy. I hate these lines: "I never felt this way before"-"I'm amazed by you"-"I love you now and forever" and UGH I can't continue on cuz the bile is rising up my throat. First of all, if ya wanna say such nonsense go to a karaoke bar during Lionel Ritchie night. And second, it's scientifically known that too much sap on an ass can actually lead to a nasty burn. And any guy that gets really sappy during cyber sex is just weird. Get out and bang some real flesh already. Sex is not about doves singing and feelings soaring to the heavens. WTF.

6. You nasty POS. It goes both ways. Being too perverted, too technical. Anytime colon, perineum, bubble, and whisk is combined into a sentence GTFO. Okay, okay, let's say the girl you're with is just awesomely arousing to you, that aint no excuse. Stop trying to hump her every time she merely smirks your way. Hi, babe *humps your face* How's your day, hun? *humps your face* Umm, wanna just do my leg? I'm trying to build here. *cums*

7. Dragging in the muthaeffin entourage. I don't get how one person can have 16 different best friends all of the opposite gender and insist he's not screwing around with any of them. If he's straight anyway. Nothing ruins a moment faster than teleporting in 2 of your "gal pals" while snuggling the girl you're supposedly wooing. No, she will not trust you. No, she's not impressed you know someone who makes hair. Let's flip the tables on your ass and see how it feels when two random guys pop in to watch.

8. Prissy Lil Know-It-All. I know I'm not perfect. I don't have an answer for everything. I'll say I dunno, or just don't care. I'm a typo-du-jour. And I appreciate a good critique or sensible tip to guide me to bettering what I'm doing. But I do not like being corrected all the freaking time. To even go as far as correcting a wisecrack is not cool either. Just shows you have no sense of sarcasm and got a major stick up your butt. Smart guys are awesome if they're not acting like pricks due to their intelligence. Showing off those brains might mean you're compensating for something anyway, like CHARM.

9. Muscley-Caveman-Fabio drool. Ah, aren't I just the pickiest? I can't talk to these types. "U want dance" Umm was that a question or a statement? "Me laik U" In what sense? Species? Evolution? Prolly not the former. "U want sex?????//" Oh dear god ... just zap out my genitals now lest I accidentally procreate with this thing. Talk dammit. Talk right. I like guys who know how to spell or at least try. So what he spelled "triangulate" wrong, he at least has the brain cells to use it in a sentence. I know some guys who can pull off the abbreviated way of chatting well. It's cuz they make up for it in wit and overall expression of thought. So do the short hand type, but just make some frigging sense. SL is all about communicating, typing won't be phased out by Voice anytime soon.

10. Desecrating Dante. You know who you are. Or the people around you know what you have done. What is with these guys that have extremely bulky shoulders and teeny heads that remind me of the buckets at the dime casino. Bucketheads. What possesses you to make yourself grotesquely unproportionate? Muscles maxxed to 100. Arm length 30. Foot size 100++. And if that's not enough, you use DANTE to cover your obtuse features. Look at the damn poster when you buy that skin. You can't possibly think there's a similarity. Dante alone won't help you. And poor Dante, so beautiful, and so abused.

Here's a tip: the tip of your fingers should be touching midway down your thigh. Your hand should be a lil over half the length of your forearm. You buckethead should be more than 50 size. Your feet-coinpurse-muscles should never be 100.

Or just wear an intricate robot avie or something. Deformed human forms distract me from focusing on the personality since in my head I'm tweaking things. Give me nightmares why don't ya.

And there ya go, I guess there is more, but they're more about nuances I find in RL. I just wrote this at work to kill time. I needed something to amuse myself. >.<

You rock, Lash! Hey, boys? Hope you are paying attention!

Isle of Mists: Where Everyday is Sweetest Day

I discovered a beautiful sim yesterday, a place called the Isle of Mists (Isle of Mists: 97, 119, 23).This entire sim is devoted to lovers, soulmates; and it was created by a lovely lady named Ashira, who also designs some of the most gorgeous jewelry. You can cuddle with your sweetie under an ancient oak, or follow a path to a royal pavilion for a bit of private attention, or meditate amidst butterflies and hummingbirds in a jeweled garden, watch a unicorn drink from a magic pool at the base of a waterfall, or lounge in a hammock in the sky and watch the sunrise in the arms of your beloved.

Aside from the beautiful gardens and the fantastic creatures (don't forget to visit the Unicorn Pool, or Serenity Falls), you have to see the lovely treehouses. One is Ashira's home and the other is her shop where you can buy her very unique "Soulmate" scripted jewelry.

The Soulmate pieces are not only lovely designs, but when set to your beloved partner's presence, they respond by sending out poofs of hearts and love notes. There are wedding ring sets (of course), lockets, and you can even give your beloved the key to your heart. The jewelry will tell you when your lover is near, and the lockets can carry pictures of you and your beloved and even play your special song. Here's a pic of me wearing a soulmate locket. Beautiful isn't it?

So visit Ashira's Isle of Mists. Take your sweetheart. You know Sweetest Day should be everyday, when you are in love. . . .

Shaking Booty at Blue Noise

So it's Saturday night and I am back shaking it in Blue Noise. The best thing about this club is really the people who work here. First there is Rhi, who manages the place, she's gorgeous and witty and has the fellows lining up. Then there are Kat, Roj, Doc, and Nerdi, who host the club's many and various contests. Among the female dancers there is me, of course, and Cordy, Sky, Bobbi, Savannah, Lucy, Harley, Envy, Jinara, Zoya, Sandrene, Lucy, Sandra, and many more. Some of these dancers double as escorts as well and can show you the fun places in Blue Noise's Sister Club, Blue Noise Hideaway. There are male dancers, too, including Jamien, Jara, Konstantine, and Nerdi, as well as several others. The DJs: MC, Patrick, Clinton, and the Radio Trauma gang, are wonderful, and love to take requests.

But the best thing about Blue Noise is that there is a camaraderie among the dancers, escorts, and the staff that is dynamic. On any given night there may be a only few, to a handful, to a crowd of patrons in BN, all having fun on the floor. You might be stalked by a sassy Aussie, or offered a Tesla coil by a savvy fox, or invited by a hot west coast lesbian to join a conga line and strip. Unlike other clubs where there are price guidelines for clothing coming off, the BN bunch is always ready to get naked--usually this is encouraged by one particular bad boy dancer who will challenge the ladies to match him clothing piece by clothing piece. By the end of any night you will find half the patrons naked as well! Expect an offer to go home with our favorite stripper fella to try out his latest set of orgy balls.

On costume contest nights you might find a mermaid in the pool, a sexy dragon on the dance floor, or a hot dancer in fairy wings who has more particle machines than most of SL. Then there's the schoolgirl types,: one in bobbysocks who will stun you with her athletic abilities and another in pink pigtails who can tease a man to orgasm in IM without ever leaving the dancepole. The conversation can ranges from surfing to Shakespeare, from London to Lisbon to L.A., from fav TV shows, to particle physics, to Preraphaelite art, to sexual techniques. A little something for everyone, and never boring.

If you are a Blue Noise VIP you probably know who all I am talking about here, if you are not . . . well c'mon up and see me sometime and I'll introduce you around. . . .

Chanson du nuit: "Throw Me A Rope" K. T. Tunstall

I want you between me and the feeling I get
When I miss you
But everything here is telling me I should be fine
So why is it so above as below
That I'm missing you every time

I got used to you whispering things to me
Into the evening
We follow the sun and his colors left this world
It seems to me that I'm definitely
Hearing the best that I've heard

So throw me a rope
To hold me in place
Show me a clock
For counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when your beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

And whenever you go
It's like holding my breath under water
I have to admit
That I kinda like it when I do
Oh but I got to be unconditionally
Unafraid of my days without you

So throw me a rope
To hold me in place
Show me a clock
For counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when your beside me
Come back and find me

Whenever I'm falling
You're always behind me
Come back and find me
Everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

Quote: Eros or Sex?

Sex can be defined fairly adequately in physiological terms as consisting of the building up of bodily tensions and their release. Eros, in contrast, is the experiencing of the personal intentions and meaning of the act. Whereas sex is a rhythm of stimulus and response, eros is a state of being. The pleasure of sex is described by Freud and others as the reduction of tension; in eros, on the contrary, we wish not to be released from the excitement but rather to hang on to it, to bask in it, and even to increase it. The end toward which sex points is gratification and relaxation, whereas eros is a desiring, longing, a forever reaching out, seeking to expand." Rollo May, U.S. psychoanalyst, from his book Love and Will

The Business of Online Sex: Stirring Things Up

I've been cruising the archives of my favorite Wired (yes, I am a geek!) column, "Sex Drive" a commentary by Regina Lynn, and found this tidbit in a July post, "The Business of Pleasure Is Booming, Thanks to Online Communities," for your consideration. Lynn, in discussing the sales of adult products, notes that:

Everyone who has ventured into online communities to talk sex contributes to a cultural shift away from sexual embarrassment and shame. You might not see it yet, especially if you work as a sex educator and you cringe at the stereotypes and misinformation so prevalent in our mass media.

But it's happening. In tiny, incremental steps, one by one, people are casting off the fetters (or putting on the fetters, depending) of yesteryear, when everyone still did everything we do now, but in shameful secrecy. Engaging in sex talk with others breaks down inhibitions that once kept us from acknowledging, much less expressing, our sexual needs. We might not know the ins and outs of every aspect of sexuality, but after a few months of online practice, we're less afraid to ask.

Even if you have never chatted online about sex, you know someone who has. At the very least, one person in your circle has flirted in e-mail while dating online. These folks bring a new openness into--if they've participated in adult communities online for more than six months, they almost can't help it.

This is an interesting observation that, I believe barely scratches the surface of what online communities like SL can do for your sex life. There are two main reasons to indulge in an active online fantasy sex life: first, to revive waning sexual desire; and second, because it is safe.

Experts have said for years that sexuality and the sex drive is one of those "use it or lose it" things, but as we get older or as our lives get busier we often don't take the time to indulge in romance and fantasy the way we used to do. In "Whither Desire" on the AARP website, we are told that "low libido has more to do with boredom than the changing body," and Sandra R. Leiblum, Ph.D., director of the Center for Sexual and Relationship Health at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey suggests that:

One solution is to find courage to step outside the sexual safe zone. “Women have to be willing to try things they haven’t before—a new place, a new sexual script,” says Leiblum, who is also the coauthor of Getting the Sex You Want (ASJA Press, 2003). The anxiety this creates can be erotic in itself. “What is arousing is the nervous excitement and mystery you feel when you don’t know what quite to expect,” she says.

In the same Article, Esther Perel, a New York City marriage and family therapist and author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence says that she:

. . . counsels people to seek out novelty. “I’ll tell a woman, ‘In the next two weeks I’d like you to approach him once in a way you’ve never done before,’ ” she says. “ ‘Think of a time when you were particularly sexually daring, and imagine yourself bringing some of that assertiveness to him. Go to a clothing store and don’t buy what you’re used to buying—get something that brings out a whole other side of you.’ ”

Here is where online role-playing can help. The act of creating a beautiful and sexually active avatar will boost your confidence and body image and give you a mask behind which to operate, with that you can feel free to indulge in online flirtation and even mutual masturbation with an online partner--an experience which, I can tell you, can be very sexually liberating. How better to revive a flagging sexual appetite than with a safe sexual act (no disease) in a safe online environment (no real life information exchanged).

And that leads me to point number two: safe sex environments. Of course it is best to work to reawaken sexual desire with your life partner, but that presupposes that: 1) you have a regular sex partner, 2) your partner wants to have sex, and 3) that you are comfortable trying out those daring moves on a live person and risking rejection.

Anyone who has wandered in SL knows that there are all kinds of opportunities for sexual indulgence. Voyeur? Wander in the free sex areas and watch to your heart's content. Just want to flirt and meet people and see what develops? Cruise the clubs and make a move! Like to try something different? Check out a good escort service (I, of course, recommend Purrfect Droom) and discuss your desires with a variety of escorts.

The advantage of online romance is that it is always far easier to be daring in a place where no one knows your real name, where you can stir up your own libido with a little help from your friends, where there is no possibility of sexually transmitted disease, and where you can add to your sexual repertoire for later use with real life partners. I bet your real partners will enjoy your new found confidence and daring moves. Breaking down the sexual inhibitions we all have will revive our sexuality and the benefits of an active fantasy and sex life are immeasurable. C'mon, give it a try. . . .

Quote of the Day: Swedish Proverb

"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it." -- from a Swedish Proverb

Song for the end of a strange week: "Nothing Else Matters"

The funny thing about SL is that sometimes you grow closest to the ones from whom you are farthest away in RL...

And sometimes we just have to hang in there no matter what anyone thinks of what we do....

Romantic Places to go in SL: Victorianna Castle

Called "the most beautiful castle in SL," Victorianna Castle (Hogback 54,180,108), is an iced gingerbread confection of turrets and towers, buttresses and balconies, all in red and white gothic loveliness.

The castle has a throne room, lovely fountains, a dance floor, and a banquet hall. Visit the dance floor for some romantic waltzing, or wander the grounds and find the slow dance balls scattered about. If you are the partnering sort, the castle can be rented for weddings. But just as a lovely piece of SL architecture it is well worth exploring. And for the shopaholics, there is a mall attached that carries period and gothic clothing.

So, now, which of you fellas wants to take me dancing?

Song for a busy week: "Thinking of you" by ATC

Thinkin' of you I'm thinkin' of you
All I can do is just think about you
Thinkin' of you I'm thinkin' of you
Whenever I'm blue I am thinkin' of you

No matter how I try I don't find a reason why
Believe me it's no lie
I always have you on my mind
No matter what I see guess where I wanna be
Love is the answer I will find

Thinkin' of you I'm thinkin' of you
All I can do is just think about you
Thinkin' of you I'm thinkin' of you
Whenever I'm blue I am thinkin' of you

No matter where I go
This is the only show
I'd like to be a part
Come on and take my heart
No matter where you are
Baby I can't be far
Cause I'll be with you all the time

Thinking of you
Think about you all the time

This feelin' deep inside
When you're right by my side
I'll always be with you
Believe me this is true
Whenever we're apart
You're deep with in my heart
Cause you'll be with me all the time

Quote to Consider: Freud

"Sexual love is undoubtedly one of the chief things in life, and the union of mental and bodily satisfaction in the enjoyment of love is one of its culminating peaks."--Sigmund Freud

A song for my man: "When You Say You Love Me"

Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breath.

When you say you love me,
The world goes still, so still and silent.
When you say you love me,
For a moment, there's no one else alive.

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel
sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still and silent.
When you say you love me
For a moment there's no one else alive.

And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still and silent.
When you say you love me
In that moment I know why I'm alive.

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

Courtesan's Sex Tip of the Month: Sharing a Fantasy

Thinking about sex is almost as much fun as doing it. So brush the cobwebs out of the brain by building fantasies in your mind and then stir up your partner's libido by sharing them. This tip comes from the pages of Cosmo:

"Whisper a naughty story in his ear. Think about sexy taboo situations that you'd never act out. . . and be prepared to give the details. Just helping him to imagine stepping outside his comfort zone can get his adrenaline racing, Maybe the story involves letting him watch you pleasure yourself. You can even push the erotic envelope further by introducing some light bondage and tying his hands to the bed. Don't worry about whether he can escape--the idea of being held captive is thrilling enough."

This kind of fantasy sharing is tailor made for SL. Most guys love to be told your deepest fantasies, so go ahead and share. The more risque the better. And, fellas, this is a two way street. Tell your girl your fantasy and I bet you get her adrenaline going too! Sexy man telling me his deepest desires? I know that works for me!

Virtual Worlds as Fodder for the Boob Tube

For those of you used to my usual romantic blogging, brace yourselves . . . this isn't that. Because I am pissed.

A couple days ago Law & Order: SVU aired an episode called "Avatar." In this one Second Life or something a lot like it--it's called AU, Alternate Universe--is the tool used in a rape-murder. Although the interface looks like a strange cross between SL and Facebook (watch out all you Internet social networks, you're next) and is clearly not SL to anyone who knows SL or Linden Labs, the episode was disturbing in the way it implicates a virtual world as a breeding ground for criminal behaviors.

The difficulty with this episode is not the storyline itself: a young woman is kidnapped from her home by a lunatic who stalked her in the virtual world first and chose her there to be his RL victim. Nor is it the obvious distaste the police have for the idea of virtual worlds, since they gain a grudging respect for the Lab that runs the AU world and which is instrumental in the crime solving. The difficulty is the way this virtual world is portrayed and how all the residents there are seemingly sex-starved pedophiles.

We start with an unprosecutable rape perpetrated on the sister of a kidnapping victim by the boyfriend of the victim (as if even people who hang out with people who hang out in virtual worlds must be sexual predators). Then we discover that the kidnapped victim has created an underage stripper/escort avatar who runs a virtual club of underage avatars for pedophile avatars to ogle and abuse (never mind that the company who manages this virtual world has confirmed no one under 18 can play in their virtual reality). Then through a series of false names and credit card fraud we find a whole string of unsavory characters who hang in the virual world primarily to exploit sweet young things sexually, but also to bilk each other financially. Ultimately we discover that the real kidnapper/rapist is in the virtual world to reenact his prior (for which he has done time) unresolved crime of pedophilia and that the avatar of his latest victim looks just like his earlier RL child victim. Are you confused yet? I was.

The thing that bothered me was not that this plot had more twists than a bag of pretzels, but that the farther we go into it the worse the residents of the virtual world looked and a lot of that did nothing really to further the plot of the episode. Perhaps I woud be less upset if it were not for a flurry of concern from well-meaning family and friends who saw the show suggesting (along with a couple of "I told you so" remarks) it was time to give up my SL nonsense.

Dear Family and Friends, what gets forgotton here is that:

1) This was a TV show. Fiction! Sensationalist fiction at that, which bears little resemblance to SL which (hello!) bans anyone even pretending to engage in sex with a child or child porn.

3) You can be sure that I (like everyone else in SL) am over 21, have common sense, and have been (like you) capable of dealing with the threat of potential crime or ciminals in the "Read World" for years. SL is no different. In fact, the idea that numbers of criminals are likely to take time out to of their busy mafioso schedules to play at pretend crime and hunt me down seems a bit ludicrous now doesn't it?

2) Not everyone in SL is sex-crazed. Trust me on this. I have met men even I can't seduce. And the ones I do hang out regularly with in SL are educated, intelligent, classy men--I know this because class is not somethng you can . The guys who do come across as crude--the "Yo, bitch wanna fuck" types--are easily spotted and avoided. And anyway, asking for sex doesn't make you a criminal in the RL either, it usually just gets you slapped.

What is a problem is the hundreds of viewers who, not knowing thing one about SL, will immediately file it in their brains as "that game" that breeds perverts and pedophiles.

Of course the ones who think that are likely the same people who believe WWF is a real sport and that The Bachelor is real romance, too.

A Quote du Jour: Neil Gaiman

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build all these defenses. You build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you."

A song for this week: "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling

So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

[Chorus:]
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

[Chorus]

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

[Chorus]

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go