Thirdlife?

Yes, it is a LARP (Live Action Role Play). Yes, it is way more work than a virtual life / role play. But it is, in many ways, just as much fun.

So for the next two weeks I am living my thirdlife in a Medieval fantasy world called "Pennsic" where I dress up in gowns and act the part of a Lady to a Medieval Lord in a tent city of 10,000 people.

While the men (and some women) engage in a War between two Kingdoms: The East and the Midrealm....

...the women (and some men) go SHOPPING! It is true: when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!

Of an evening, I might gather with friends in a mead hall, wander the streets looking for music or dancing, or just curl up in my comfy bed with a good codex. 

 
Whatever I do, it will be fun.

Slave "Rags"?

I am liking the whole idea of the slave garb. Reminds me of stuff I used to wear in RL as a professional belly dancer (Yes, seriously!). I especially like the mixing and matching of different pieces of different outfits. Today's fashion is a mix of my two favorite designers: Mirja Mills and Draven Sautereau. This mix is not exactly rags, but it is not the filmy silks the kajirea wear either. A bit grunge, a bit scandalous. Just what I feel like today!

The bandeau top I am wearing in the picture above is from "Absinthe" by Draven Sautereau of Bird of Prey. You really need to see it up close to appreciate the colors and the texture. The breast chain, bracelets, hip wrap and skirt are from "Pleasures" by Mirja Mills of EMO-tions. Together these are just the right mix of slave girl and wild gypsy. Add my Turian collar and some long flowing hair and I am ready to go dance around a campfire . . . or at the foot of your sleeping furs. (/me winks!)

Just another day in Gor

Today I logged in and saw my Master online, so I went to the Gor Hub--his usual hangout. Surprise! He was not there. I wondered, "Should I IM him?" Instead I decided to do some shopping. My first Master used to--as soon as he saw me online--tug my leash and transport me to wherever he was. My first Master told me not to speak to other men in SL and kept in touch with me when we were both offline by email and texts messages. My current Master does not seem to care what I do when he is not around. Or even when he is around. Ah well. That just means a girl is free to SHOP!

I sometimes wonder why I like dressing up and changing clothing in SL so much. I am not such a clothes horse in RL. Maybe I never had enough time with my Barbie dolls as a kid. Maybe I'm fondly remembering my mother dressing me up in all the girly clothing--pink ribbons in blonde curls, lace and ruffles and skirts (back then though I was as likely to go climb a tree and tear the finery!) In any case I love to primp for a Master in SL. Or I did. My previous Master liked me to change clothing. I asked his favorite colors and dressed to please him. He made suggestions and then was very creative in tearing off bits silks and tying my hands with them.

I don't know what my current Master likes. I think I must be a pretty bad slave that can't even suss our her Master's tastes. (Though I might have better luck if he talked to me instead of at me.) I wonder if my Master even noticed that this girl changed her clothes to match the colors of his yesterday?

So there I am in the middle of a store and Master IMs me. He does not pull my leash, does not call me to where he is. I do not see him at all this morning. But I respond (in IM). 
     Me: Good morning, Master. This girl hopes you are well.
     Him: i am well *rubs her breast firmly*
     Me: Does Master have any commands for his girl?
     Him: smiles "yes... i think its high time i use my slut before i go to work"  as he unbuttons himself
     Me: kneels before you
     Him: taking his cock as he grips her hair shoving his cock deep inside her mouth
              "suck on it my slut... show me what a good whore you are"

I don't have to say a thing, though he'd like me to scream now and again. My inner courtesan is thinking Seriously? And you get off on this shit? But he apparently does. And then off he goes. AFK for a while, not to be bothered. Don't call us, we'll call you.  

Now I do get it. A slave is there to be used. I've read the books. But I can't help thinking, "Dude, you want me to roleplay you have to give me a role!" I am not a RubberDoll!

I, too, have to go AFK. I need to pace. To vent. Instead I go get a cup of coffee.

Ten days I say to myself. I will stick it out for ten days. Ten days is generous, right? I see a lot of profiles where there is a 3 day capture limit.

I have survived days one through three. This is day four. But I can wait. Anticipation makes all things sweeter. I finish my coffee and go back to shopping.

Here a Master... There a Master....

I logged into SL today, intending it to only be brief, and saw my Master was in the Gor Hub. So I joined him. He was standing with a pretty brunette who was wearing a skirt and no top. I went to his left side (so as not to interfere with his sword hand) and knelt at his heel. He petted my hair and said good morning. I wondered if he was talking to the brunette, but never had a chance to ask because he said he needed to TP somewhere and I should wait, he'd be right back.

As the brunette was still standing there, I asked her if she knew Master. I figured she was a new slave of his (or maybe an old one, being as I've only been his for 3 days so far--who knows how many women he has tucked away). I think I offended the girl because I thought she was a slave--but hell she was naked from the waist up! Certainly didn't look like a free woman. Anyway she huffed out to finish her RP with Master and I hung out in Gor Hub to wait. (Well, okay, I was working on other stuff while hanging out, but I figured I should stay--since he told me to--where he left me. See! I am trying to be a good slave!)

After a few minutes I get an IM from him saying I was not to talk to Free Women in IM. I'm like seriously? I addressed her in IC in Open Chat first. She got huffy on me! So next I get a lecture on how I don't own him he owns me.  His words: "understand one thing and this matters most above all... as my slave.... your one goal is to please..... it matters not if i take in another.. or if i make a woman my mate... your focus is on the one who owns you"  

Dude! I was so not jealous. Tell me what the game is and I will play along. Or dismiss me and I will find something else to do. But you expect women to sit around and wait for you? Meh.


And then he tells me there will be beatings until I scream if I screw up again. Oh goodie. I get to stand around the Gor Hub and wait for him, then I get called slut, whore, and cumbag. I have yet to do any serving for him (and I'm a damn good cook, dancer, pleasure slave--the man does not know what he is missing!). 


I stayed in TGH and waited. I mean, he is the Master and he told me to wait until he got back. I had a lovely chat about what it means to be a slave vs. a sub with a very nice Sir who said he'd love to drag me into the woods and ravish me but he respected other men's property. I respect that! He also told me my Master was an idiot that didn't know what a treasure he had. So while waiting for my Master (who never came back), I had more fun than I had had yet with my Master. Something is wrong with this picture.

Yesterday Hot Hunk Master, and today Cool Conversation Master.

And now I am thinking to myself: why am I still here with my Master?  To be honest, I have no emotional investment in this Master. I want to RP. He said he did, too. We had one sort of "fun" RP (he captured me, then he "broke" me) on the day we met. But not much since. I'm not so thrilled about hanging out in the Gor Hub all the time--which is pretty much all he does because he has no Home. Not sure what his end game is, but I wonder if have made a serious mistake taking his collar.

Maybe he'll collar the brunette and then I won't feel bad about running away. 

Another (HOT) Gorean Man

Today I went to MysticHope to get a new outfit. My friend Noir had picked this one up the other day and I wanted one for myself. So there I am looking for the outfit to try it on when I find the cuffs and anklets I bought the other day. They came with a chastity belt. I tried on the belt and Poof! My skirt disappears. And just at that point when I am standing there half-naked, this gorgeous hunk of a Master walks up and asks me a question. Yup. Not my finest moment. So I scramble back into my skirt and talk to him.

He was looking for the Freebie chairs. See Kira Lavendel makes some awesome outfits and until yesterday she had several in lucky chairs in the store. But she's redoing the place right now, and so she took them down. While we are discussing the chairs, up comes this 'princess' (seriously, that was in her name! I mean, who does that!) all in pink silks and tattoos. My first thought is shit--he has a first girl. (All the good ones do.) But I guess she was just asking the same question because, much to my relief, she wandered off again. She was far too Barbie for this guy anyway.

The Master who was looking for the chairs, flirted with me, and me--being the bad girl and lousy slave that I am--flirted back. (I know, I'm supposed to be loyal to my new Master, but honestly, it has been only three days and minimal contact and it's not like it was all love at first rape with him!) Besides, this new guy was hot. All bulging thews and naked chest.... He was fun to tease. And he teased back. Points for him!

Sidebar: There are a lot of men out there who get all BTB and chest-thumpy when a slave addresses them directly, doing a whole: "You, beast/slut/whore, kneel before my Masterly might" routine, which--to me--defeats the whole purpose of role play. How the hell am I going to get spanked if I don't mouth off and give you the opportunity for "discipline"? 

It was refreshing to have a man tangle his hands in my hair and want to touch my "perky breasts" and still exchange witty repartee without belittling the girl. It was even more refreshing that he respected that I was already collared. (Dammit.)

Here's the thing. A girl likes to know she is beautiful. Be told she is desirable. Wants conversation, because, Hell, this is a virtual world. All we really have is conversation. You can tell me all you want that you are touching my thingy with your thingy, but if you haven't reached my mind--my imagination--you haven't touched me.

Master Hotstuff made me smile, and made me feel all tingly in all the right places. He touched me.

He also told me he would one day collar me. Take me. And the way he said it made me blush in RL as well as in SL! And then, he took a picture of me in the new outfit (into which I finally fumbled my ass). He titled it "Randy's soon to be bond, Tsai Jie."

Seriously hot. (The claim, I mean.)

He sailed off leaving me with a parting admonition to write to him every day (also hot). And I think I just might do that. For now, I'll just sit here a while and enjoy not wiping the smile off my face.

The Girl is Back!

Yes. I'm back. After a long hiatus, through which although I never really recovered from the broken heart I have learned to live with it. And for the record I have decided it is time to pick up the pieces and move on. So here I am. Back where I started. Blogging about SL, sex, and my life as a virtual girl.

My latest SL exploits include a stint in Gorean sims, where this girl is discovering her inner submissive. No. Really. Oh c'mon, stop laughing. Yes, I know I am a control freak in RL. Obsessive about so many things. But I am looking at this as a lesson in giving up control. In humility. (Are you picturing Vannessa Redgrave saying "uuuu-mil-leee-tay!" to Lancelot in Camelot? Good. Me, too.)

Seriously though, This girl has allowed herself to be collared by one Darious Whitefeather. Nice guy. A bit rough around the edges. But he has potential. (Now picture Mulan and the "I'll Make a Man Out of You") Okay. So maybe I will have to work harder on that humility.  Sigh.

Anyway, stay tuned.

She's baaaack!

Reconnections?

It has been an odd week in Valis. Jinara swung by on Tuesday all aglow. Seems she ran into Mal on Monday night. Months of no word from him and then there he was, cute and cuddly and wanting to play. A night of romantic fun and I figured she'd stop moping about Hawk and be back to fixating on Malcolm. But when I asked if she was getting back together with Mal, she just shrugged. "Jhai's right," she told me. "You can't worry about men. There are here and then they are gone. They just have different priorities than women. No biggie! It is what it is." And off she went to chase lucky chairs with Heron. I am not sure if it is a good sign that she is not moping or a bad one, as in has she given up on love?

Then on Tuesday Jhai, who is usually the unflappable one, asked Dabrin to Punday night at Callahan's Crosstime Saloon. Unfortunately although he did show up, he couldn't stay for long. I was adding a new swan to the water in Valis when Jhai came fuming home. "Men. Damn them." Ash showed up around then and I just gaped as the two of them (seems Wulf--Ash's number one boy toy--has been unavailable of late, too) went into a duet rant about being treated like china dolls on a shelf--toys to be played with when the "boys" have time.

"Wait a minute!" I said to Jhai. Aren't you the one who always told me that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle?" Here was Jinara, the emotional one, being blasé, and Jhai, usually the rational one, going all emotional. I made a note to myself to check the horoscopes on all of them. As I logged out I saw they were at the waterfall throwing stones at the fish and still bitching.

Last night it was my turn to be lonely, missing Draven. I know he's busy, RL busy. But I had gotten so used to hearing from him multiple times in the day that these days when we are both so wrapped in RL it gets hard. Still, I had talked to him just that morning--god, I love his voice. It's like velvet on my skin. But there I was in Valis feeling kind of neglected and kind of sorry for myself and kind of hoping he was going to just suddenly be there in that way he has of appearing out of nowhere and making everything all right in my world. But he didn't and it wasn't, it never is allright when he is far away. Then I saw Amanda pop online, and not having heard from her in a while I IMed. She came over and I showed her around the new store. I was feeling better with some company, until. . . .

Draven has all his dresses up on vendors there in the store and most of them are being modeled by Heron. "Who is the blonde with the tits," 'Manda asked. "Then she looked at me funny and asked, "Everything okay between you and Draven?"

"Of course it is, never better," I told her. Then I stopped. Heron isn't interested in Draven. Nor he in her. Really. I am sure of it. I mean, we are all pretty certain Heron likes girls. Even if she is very hot. And blonde. And several slider points larger than me in the chest as well as smaller in the waist. But no matter how pretty she is, Draven isn't interested in her that way. Really. I am sure of it. Aren't I?

OMG, I'm an insecure bitch!

Lately I've been kissing people I'm not married to...

SL is a strange place. You can get immediately and intimately connected with people you barely know. Now I am not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, and lord knows I am not likely to give up doing so myself, but I read a post a while ago on Salon.com that reminded me of what the unintended consequences could be for SL relationships.

Salon.com has an advice column (generally witty, always interesting) written by Cary Tennis. This offering is "Lately I've been kissing women I'm not married to," a lament from a married man who finds himself wanting to act out his fantasies of making out with strangers... here's a small piece:

My situation is this: I think of myself as happily married. My wife and I have a good relationship. Our sex life is just fine. Why have I done this? My recurring fantasy is going out with a woman from work and we end up at her place after drinks, fooling around. Pretty vanilla, I know. But that's me! The situation this week followed my fantasy to a T, which I clearly found exciting. But my fantasy always goes further than what actually happened this week. I/we stopped it in its tracks because I/we knew it was wrong. But why wasn't I smart enough to stop it earlier, when we were having drinks and were both giving clear signals to each other? I would understand if I was unhappy in my marriage. That is why I find my behavior so stupid. What is my problem? 

Serial Kisser 

Dear Serial Kisser,
What is your problem? Your problem is that if you continue to kiss women you are not married to, soon you will no longer be married. That is the usual outcome with the kissing of attractive women you are not married to. You are evidently aware of this in some dim way. That would be why this hobby of yours is not bringing you unalloyed pleasure but instead a pleasure tinged with a dollop of piquant dread. . . . I mean, it's understandable what's been happening. Get a few drinks in you and you want to kiss people. It's natural. Nothing wrong with that per se, except you're married. You know the rules. You knew the rules when you signed up. Nobody forced you to sign up. You signed up on your own. There are a lot of people you don't get to kiss now. It's tough, I know. But those are the rules. 

If Cary is correct, well, there are a lot of us breaking those rules by our actions in our SL lives. So the ultimate question becomes: is having a relationship in SL a threat to an RL relationship? I personally know of at least 2 RL couples playing in SL who have come close to the brink of separation/divorce and may yet tip over it. These are RL married couples who play separately in SL and have SL relationships with SL partners other than their RL ones. And in both cases each partner has one or more SL sweetie, someone other than their RL one. It should also be said that in each case the RL relationship was in someways dysfunctional before anyone got involved with anyone else in SL.
There are also cases of people getting involved with SL partners to the exclusion and alienation of their RL spouses. An August 10, 2007 article in the Wall Street Journal, "Is this Man Cheating on his Wife?", tells the story of one guy who has in effect traded his RL for his SL, spending full days on the computer in SL with his other wife, an SL partner. Andrew Vogel's response, in his blog Spunlogic, tells us:

According to family law experts and marital counselors, though, the Hoogestraats’ deteriorating marriage is not an isolated case. The article cites that an increasing number of marriages are crumbling because of “virtual infidelity.” This begs the question, if virtual marriages are causing real life marriage trouble, are the virtual marriages all that virtual?

And there is the crux of the issue. Secondlife isn't just a game anymore. There are real people and real feelings on the other side of that avatar. Just like you can pick up a one-night stand in a bar, you can pick one up in SL. And just like that one-time good time in RL can lead to something serious so can an SL relationship become serious. 

So what is the answer? Telling everyone--telling ourselves--"Hey! Don't do that!" Oh yeah, that'll work. Look. Let's face it. There is a huge divorce rate in this country. And why? Because Americans throw something out and get a new one when it doesn't work anymore. Here's a notion. Maybe the SL relationship can save the RL one that isn't working? Don't get enough sex at home? Have an affair or hire an escort in SL. No diseases, no mess, not expensive, not illegal. But don't expect a full time SL relationship AND a full time RL one. I'm not saying you can't have both--just that you have to be able to balance what you want with what you can realistically have. And be really sure, if you find you have to choose between the two, you are making the right choice--in full understanding of the effects of your choices on you, on the people in your real life, and on your SL lovers.